Who peed in your cornflakes?

People frequently ask how the Spud and I are doing and my response after we got through the first two weeks home is “Good!” and I mean it.  The first 10-12 days home was absolute hell that I hope to never repeat (hopefully my daughter will adjust to the time difference easier, but I also realize she will probably not be as easy as my son). 

He truly is an easy baby and as I’ve said all along—he makes this look easy.  He also makes up for all my inadequacies as a parent.  The truth is he is just a very easy going child.  For some reason, however, people love to say “well, you just wait until he hits the terrible twos and threes” or laughing they will say “you won’t think he’s such a good boy when he is a teenager!” 

Adoptive parents take another route, '”wow, it just shows you how awful his time in the orphanage was.  If they took better care of him he wouldn’t be so shell-shocked” or “once he begins to feel safe he will start to open up more”. 

I find both of these responses somewhat offensive.  While I realize the Spud and I have only been a family for a little less than six weeks, I do know his moods.  I know when he is worried, happy, hungry, curious, etc.  At his core he is just an easy going little guy.  This was apparent to the orphanage staff which I suspect may be why he was one of the favorites.  When I was visiting the orphanage the day before the G&R the staff told me they called him “Bubbly” because he was outgoing.

According to the international adoption MD he has absolutely NO delays—physically, developmentally, or attachment wise.  In fact, he is ahead in some ways.  And yes, I know that he won’t always smile at me just because I smiled at him (that will be a sad day).  I know that someday he will try to set limits and assert his independence (terribly 2/3s and teens) and that we will both have some growing pains when that occurs, but why do parents that don’t know me, and especially don’t know my son, insist on telling me that he will someday be a monster?  I know he won’t always be like this.  He will grow up, but I suspect at his core his temperament won’t change much.    

People love to guess what he will become based on how he responds to things.  He studies people quite intently—it is interesting to watch.  He studies faces—expressions, changes in voice inflection, he loves to listen to me laugh.  Today as I was watching him I thought “here is a boy that will work with people”.  He could be an anthropologist, sociologist.  I think he will make a great public speaker someday.  Any time I turn the TV on he tries to talk to it.  Same thing at church.  He thinks it is call and respond kind of service.  The preacher says something, Spud talks back.  Back and forth they go.  However, he does have a strong attraction to computer equipment.  He goes ape every time he sees a keyboard (seriously, he starts grunting like an ape) and he LOVES to watch the screensaver on the computer monitor.  The tech guys at work saw him in action and thought he could be a mechanical engineer.

I don’t care what he does—just as long as he is healthy and happy.