Sick (and a little TMI)

The good news is that Duc is perfectly healthy right now.  Over the first part of the week he seemed to come out of the residual sick-funk he was in and he is sweetest, happiest little boy that I haven’t seen in nearly a month.

To answer the question that many of you are probably asking.  Yes, probably. 

I did not go to the doctor to get tested for the H1N1 flu for a couple of reasons:

1. I work for a healthcare corp. who would have quarantined me for seven days.  They weren’t able to tell me if it was seven days post dx or post symptoms so needless to say, I didn’t get tested.
2. I live in a county that has a strict (as in, we will come arrest your patootie if we have to and place you on lockdown) H1N1 policy.  If you look symptomatic and test positive, you will be placed in quarantine and they will monitor you to make sure you are on lockdown.  To be honest, I have no idea if that means I would have been sporting a shiny new anklet or what, but I decided it was in my best interest to not call and find out.

My problem with this is this:

1. I have no PTO.  I used every hour of it in the early days of January and since returning to the workforce have only accumulated two days which I used last week.
2. I have missed five out of the last ten days of work.  My paycheck will be pretty small next week.
3. I am the sole provider for me and my son.  I have no family in the area.  If I am on lockdown I will be unable to shop or get the food and other things that we need (oh, and Duc is not a big fan of lock down.  He NEEDS to get out).

While I realize that this makes me look like an irresponsible citizen, I am not alone.  See the following AP article for more information:

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/S/SWINE_FLU_SICK_DAYS?SITE=NCBER&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

If this actually were a life threatening flu I may have re-considered my actions, but with the economy tanked and every job subject to cuts, many workers are forced to make the same decisions I made.

So, back to the life threatening thing.  Evidently this flu is only dangerous to those with underlying conditions.  Like respiratory problems.  Which I have.  Which is why I believe I now have pneumonia.

And, no, I still haven’t gone to the doctor and I haven’t had an x-ray, I am diagnosing based on symptomology and past experience.  I am taking a broad spectrum antibiotic commonly used with pneumonia and if I don’t see some improvement soon I will go to the doctor.  At this point I doubt I am still shedding the virus and can’t be forced into lock down. 

It gets worse.  Well, at least it felt worse.  I came down with some sort of stomach bug on Thursday afternoon and all I could was retch.  And vomit.  And retch some more.  It was to the point that I was actually having trouble catching my breath in between all the retching.  Talk about adding insult to injury.  Now the retching has stopped, but crapping out my empty intestines has begun.  How wrong is that???

And the worst part about this?  I can’t take care of my son.  I can’t be the parent I need to be.  Last week my mom took care of him all week, and on Thursday when I was so sick my dear friend Laura (who has no kids and has never had to figure out how to put a car seat in) came over and picked up Duc, his toys, his bottles and his car seat and took him to her house for the evening.  She was happy to do it, but it was so unfair to him and to her.  Duc is so used to being around me and only a few other people (Laura on occasion, but not very frequently and he has never been to someone’s house w/o me).  And Laura?  Oh my goodness, I would have been totally freaked out pre-Duc if someone had said come over and take my child (w/o any instruction) and figure out how to put this car seat in. 

I was so thankful for my friends.  You have no idea…or maybe you do if you’ve been in the same situation.  I hate that my family doesn’t live closer and can’t help during these times.  I am so glad I have Laura, Auntie J, Uncle Mike, Aunties Deb and Ricci that are able to assist when I can’t help myself. 

I just feel like hell.  I smell like hell.  My sniffer is shot because of sinusitis, but every once in a while I catch a whiff of something.  Last night I smelled something most foul so, like any of you, I picked up my son and sniffed his butt.  It wasn’t him.  Lovely.  I am coughing hard enough that I am surprised I haven’t crapped my pants.  Evidently something else slipped out instead.

The only good side of all this that I can see is that if the H1N1 does come back more virulent this fall then Duc and I should have some level of immunity.  If it knocked me back this hard has a mild virus, can you imagine what would have happened to me if it had mutated to a more deadly form? 

Glad I kept all those old VHS tapes.  I loves to play with them. My house is trashed.  This is so mild compared to the disaster in the kitchen.  Even the cat  decided to puke in there.

So serious and contemplative. My sweet, sweet baby.  I was coughing so hard and he looked so confused.  He just started patting my thigh.  God has given me the best gift that I could have ever hoped for.

I just kept staring at me while I coughed.  He would keep turning his head…I thought it was going to fall off his shoulders!

PS—still no new niece.  I am the family photographer so maybe she knows that auntie em is still a little too sick to see her.  It’s crazy though, because my sister is SO ready to go.  She is dilated, effaced, and –2 station (for those of you that know OB talk).  How this child hasn’t dropped out of her is beyond me.  I think I am ready now, baby girl, and if you do between now and Monday I will be on the same “occurrence” at work.