Legacy
Several years ago I was sitting in a Chinese restaurant with my mother she looked at me and with a surprising amount of feeling said, “Wow, you look so much like my mother.”
I had a pang of sadness as she told me it was the shape of my forehead, the way I had my hair pulled back from my face and the expression on my face. I thought of my someday children in that moment and realized I would never turn to my daughter and repeat my mother’s words. I would never look at my son and marvel at how much he looks like my father and his father before him. It wasn’t that I regretted not giving birth to them, but I wanted to impart something of myself on them.
It was a while before I shared that sad moment with my mother, but she assured me that I would see myself in my children. They may not inherit my love of art or my sister’s musical ability, but they will learn to appreciate both. My son may not have my blue eyes, but he has my twinkle and my sense of humor. And sometimes, in the smallest of moments, I catch a glimmer of myself in my son.
8 comments:
I appreciated reading this post very much. Thanks for sharing your feelings. And I have something to share with you -- this video -- ahamoment.com/pg/moments/view/1237 -- that I think is related to the thoughts and emotions involved in your post. I hope you find it as compelling as I do. And perhaps check out the rest of the site as well.
All the best,
jack@ahamoment.com
I really, really understand how you feel. I have to tell you, though, that I've had several people on several different occasions tell me that Petunia looks so much like me. Of course, our features and coloring are completely different, but she mimics my mannerisms and expressions so much that... yeah... I see myself in her very often. I'm sure it's there with Duc, as well.
I find it so interesting how MUCH our kids wind up taking after us. It just sneaks up on you and they say something in your pitch, or they do something you would do. And yet, they are totally their own being from day one.
Hi, Erica-
I just recently found your blog-not sure why I didn't know of it before! Just wanted to let you know how much I am enjoying your posts and photos.
I, too, have had these very same feelings. It is amazing how many times you will see a little glimmer of yourself in what they will do or say.
Duc is a very special little guy. :)
Kim
Marin & Sela's mommy
I worry about those days as well, you are not alone.
I had these very feelings when Luci arrived. Now, almost four years lately, I see a little mini-me. She laughs like me, talks like me, stands like me...although still so perfectly different than me.
Thanks for sharing this.
it's funny, my mom used to say to me growing up, 'i don't know where you came from- or how you came from me, you are so different from your sisters and brother'... i loved hearing that- that i was set apart, not like her- she said it was like a gift, how different i was. but in time, as i grew up (now), i'm so much like her, more than i would have expected. i still have that spark of what she saw in me then. i may have had her eye color, hair color and texture- but growing up, i wasn't anything like my mom or my grandmother. how proud i was of that~!
but we take on so much of what we learn from our parents- it becomes ingrained in who we are, whether we recognize it or not... you know? we are molded by our parents... in so many ways...
i'm glad you already recognize yourself in Duc :)
I'm so glad you posted this. I have had similar feelings about that, too.
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