Perspective

One of my fondest summer memories was a tradition that never really took hold. My parents had bought a hand crank ice cream machine. I remember going to the local dairy which included an evening trip to a farm where we poured the cream and my dad left some change on the work bench. I remember the ice and the salt and watching my parents take turns laboring over the crank. My sister and I would anxiously hover wanting the first bite of ice cream and it always took SO long to finish.

Recently I was sharing this memory with my mother and I told her I was thinking of buying an AUTOMATIC ice cream machine. I’m not into ice cream and Duc is lactose intolerant, but the desire to recreate my fond memory with my son was a little too sweet to resist.

Her response surprised me. She asked why I would ever want to do it—she remembered the mess, all the cranking and remembered we gave up on it after only a few attempts.

Our perspectives of the same experience were totally different and I find myself thinking of that a lot lately.

It’s been over 3 weeks since i updated this blog and I think that may be the longest I have ever gone. A series of events left me being so physically and emotionally drained that I simply shut down. By the end of the work day I didn’t want to talk and I certainly didn’t want to email or read blogs. I spent as much time with Duc—we needed it. It’s been a rough 3 weeks and it is only going to get a bit tougher before it gets better. I read up on gardening and living a simpler, more organic lifestyle. I slowed down, soaked it all in, made bread and tried to enjoy as much time as I could with a sick and clingy toddler.

I remind myself that we all have choices. There is always an A and a B. I can choose to feel like a victim or I can take charge of my situation. So I adjusted my attitude and reminded myself that I will do anything and everything I have to for my family.

Duc’s birthday is a week from today. My little man is going to be 2. I’m happy for him, but his birthday always brings a bit of sadness to my life. I can’t love him and celebrate him without remembering how we became a family. I know there is a woman out there that rubbed her belly and probably named him long before he was born. I don’t recall if I have shared it here or not, but the reason I named him Duc was because I imagined it might be a name his first mother might have chosen for him.

I’m also sad because I will miss my son’s birthday. My work schedule is going to get nasty for the next few weeks, but the ugliest day will be his birthday. My parents are going to be taking care of him while I am away.

So, while I have plenty of things I want to write about in the coming weeks, they will likely have to wait until June.

Oh, and if any of you have suggestions on an affordable vacation I’m all ears:D