Short and sweet
I am once again out of town for training. Fortunately I will be home Sunday afternoon, but I'm tired from the long day so I will keep this short--and not really adoption related.
A couple of weeks ago I was asked if I would start volunteering in the nursery at church. It has been mentioned in passing and usually goes something like (fake a high pitched voice) "you should really work in the nursery since you like kids!" This time I was told "we need help in the nursery and you are a stable person that is here routinely. We need your help." Secretly, I think they probably know it saves them the cost of one background check since they know I have been fingerprinted out the wazoo and am approved by the US government to parent children.
Welllll. It's not that simple and I'm kind of torn on how I feel about this which probably makes me sound like a bad person (and why I probably should have posted this on my slightly neurotic/fluff "other" blog). People automatically assume that you like kids if you are adopting, and I do like children--I like the ones I am related to, the kids of my friends and some other random children, but I'm not really sure that I am the "kid" person that they think I am. I do coo at cute babies when I am standing in line at the grocery store, but I don't go out of my way to spend time with babies and toddlers.
In the past I have been told by people at this church (and others outside the church) that I need "practice" with kids. That may be true, but I used to work in the newborn nursery and I teach infant/child/adult CPR. Usually when I am told I need practice it is because they are buttering me up to babysit their children (for free, of course--not one has ever paid me).
I'm not sure why I am resisting this...am I afraid I will be taken advantage of? Yes. Am I afraid volunteering once every 4-6 weeks will actually be every other week? Yes. I actually enjoy my pastor's teaching and the worship service which is why I haven't stepped up before. Am I afraid that it might be hard to be around babies when I don't know when either one of mine are coming home? Yes, yes.
I have decided to try it. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out and maybe by then I will have a better understanding of why I am feeling unsettled about this. Of course, it could actually be a very good thing too. If anyone else has ever felt like this or understands better why I am feeling like this, I'd love to hear your insight.
2 comments:
I had very similar feelings when I first joined our church and was asked to teach the elementary age group during the service. I think the fact that I am a teacher was a prime motivator in their asking me, but I was a bit hesitant. I teach middle school, not elementary, and I enjoy having two days off from lesson planning, being "on," and disciplining negative behavior. Also, like you, I really do enjoy the service and don't like to miss it. To compromise, I decided to do it off and on during the summer months (It's a rotating position since they can't find one person to commit every Sunday.). I didn't enjoy it the first few times, but it has gotten better. I think the fact that I actually know the children now makes a huge difference. Maybe you'll find that that is the case if you decide to work in the nursery. Anyway, I can totally sympathize with your feelings. I'll be interested to read how it all turns out for you.
Teresa
I think it's pretty normal. You can't make decisions for and treat other kids the same way you would your child, so I would think that it's normal to question if it's a good fit for you. I work with kids birth to age 3 and I have no desire to volunteer like that :)
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