Home

I am leaving you with this song because my home does not reside where the four corners of my house meet, it does not live on this street or in this city.  Home is where my heart is and my heart, like my head, has always been in the clouds.  I find home where ever I go and where ever I land. 

I am going home.  See you soon. 

Morty the Mean

Morty is still here and evidently affecting my brain function.  Tonight I went to Target to pick up a 6-pack of new undies (I must be an old fart because 1) I bought a 6-pack of undies and 2)they threw in a bonus pair and I was thrilled!).  I get home and unfurl those suckers and realize "hmm, I obviously picked up the tuck-in-your-booby undies".  I struggle enough trying to keep my waist band above the rim of my undies and am fairly unsuccessful most days.  Honestly, what is the point of these low rise pants and short shirts?  I fondly remember the days when my shirt used to reach my hip bones.  So now I have granny panties that are probably a good 3 inches above my waist.  Am I going to return them?  Heck no!  I am going to wear them high and proud so Morty can see exactly what he has done to me. 

Oh, Morty grew so large that the skin around the mountain split.  Yep, it's purty.  Glad my bangs cover it.  Hopefully he moves on quickly and doesn't migrate south for the winter.  Ugh, that would be a disaster.

Bad face week

I have a huge zit on my forehead that I have named Morty.  Honestly, it's like a gnome has suddenly sprouted off the front of my forehead and I am afraid the old man is going to start shaking hands with everyone that walks by.  I hate to even call it a zit because it doesn't do it justice--it's really more of a cyst, but when a cyst shows up on your face people typically think they are zits.  So here I am calling my cyst a zit and naming him Morty.

I actually had an appointment with my dermatologist today and she of course asked "how is your skin?" so I pulled up my bangs and showed her Morty.  She took one look at it and said, "Maybe it would be better if you wear your bangs down this week".  I kid you not!  She is the coolest derm ever--I was laughing.  She then told me about needing to inject a steroid into one of her own this week because it looked rather inflammatory.  Laura, I was totally thinking of you when I was there and I hoped she was going to suggest some zit juice (or botox, whatever), but no luck.  It looks like I will have to wear the bangs down for another week.  This sucker hurts--one of my co-workers hugged me yesterday while I was sitting in my chair and her boob attacked Morty.  Ouch. 

No more Mr. Mice guy

I decided to spare you any further mice stories only because it would sound so unbelievable and I don't want you thinking I actually make up stories about killing catching mice.  I got a HUGE kick out of reading your comments, and Meredith, I totally get not wanting to watch it.  If you had listened you would have heard me gagging as she tossed the mouse around.  Honestly, I don't have the heart for killing anything which is why I was so disturbed when forced to do it.  I was just so impressed with my cat--after all these years we have lived together...I have decided she must have developed dementia.  She suddenly wants to sit on my lap and she wants to sleep on me at night.  And now she is killing mice?  That is so not my girl. 

Life is getting crazy busy again at work.  We had the best little team of four at work--we all got along well and enjoyed each other and best of all, we actually worked well together!  Slowly they have left me over the last several weeks and today my mentor left me.  It was hard.  The only thing worse than still feeling like an idiot in my job and having no one to ask questions of is realizing that I will now be responsible for a lot more stuff!  Ack! 

Fortunately my vacation does start in a couple of weeks.  I am so ready for a break.  I'm ready to be away from work for a while, I'm ready to be away from the cold and dreary winter.  I am just ready.  I am not sure that I will be blogging while I am away.  It's not that I don't want to drag you with me on vacation, but I don't own a laptop so unless I borrow Chennie's it probably isn't going to happen.  Of course, I don't know the last time I actually went more than a week without email or internet so who knows?

The house is a pit and my dishes are unwashed and other horrible unmentionables are growing in my kitchen (I know what you are thinking--you think I caused the mice, but you are wrong!).  I admit to feeling more than slightly embarrassed when my mom planned an unscheduled visit this after.  This is what I am most going to love about them living so close--the rush of embarrassment when mom sees how old the dirty dishes stacked on my counter really are.  Of course, they could always buy me a dish washer for Christmas, wink, wink.  Pretty please?!?  

Cat & Mouse

This is how proud I am of my cat, I actually took the time to open a YouTube account and waited and waited while the videos loaded.  Here she is after the kill--there is no blood and it looks like she is playing with a toy but please DO NOT SHOW TO LITTLE CHILDREN.  Ok, I feel better now. 

and more video just cuz I am so proud!

The first video is the better one, but she gets a really good mouse toss in with the first 20-30 seconds of the second video.  The first video was with my camera and the second was with my camcorder...definitely a difference, but not the one I was expecting!  In the first video I had cornered her after she tried to take it to my bedroom...uh huh...not the kind of 'bedroom surprise' I was hoping for!  Because she has never shown any interest in killing mice I was a little concerned that it was just stunned so I did touch it just to make sure.  And, yes, I did gag a little bit while she kept chewing at it and thumping it against the wall.  Ugh.

Ok, the 'bare hands' story is as follows...I bought and moved into my very first house two and a half years ago.  It is an older house and had sat vacant for years.  A few nights after I moved in I am sitting on the couch watching TV when I notice the cat.  She was pawing at the wall, again.  To prove to her that nothing was wrong I picked her up, opened the electrical box/utility box on the wall and out scurried a mouse!  I was so not ready for that!  I dropped the cat over the mouse and yelled, "Get it, Siva!".  The poor little mouse was a bit stunned and wasn't moving terribly fast, but the cat sniffed and walked away.  Because I have a loooong and somewhat unfortunate history with mice I was not about to let it run away and procreate.  I didn't have a shoe or slipper (and trust me, I would have pounded it into pancakes if I'd had one) so I grabbed this fleece bed that my cat sleeps on, covered the mouse and cupped it to contain it.  Well, when you live alone and you can't yell for someone to grab a jar your choices are limited and a piece of cloth is not going to contain a mouse.  So, I squished it.  It was awful!  I started applying pressure and I swear to you the mouse started squealing and when I started feeling things pop I got too nauseated and let go.  I was too horrified to do anymore and the poor mouse did stagger away.  Without going into any more horrifying details I can confirm that the mouse did die.  Ugh, it was awful!  I was so upset--I called my best friend, but I think he was slightly amused by it.  Even thinking back on it disturbs me.

I actually have another doozy of a mouse/mice story, but I am going to wait until tomorrow.  It's kind of funny and I need to end on a funny note after remembering the details of my kill. 

Oh, the cats name is Siva, but is pronounced like Shiva.  I named her after the Indian deity of destruction.  It just seemed appropriate.