Monday, December 15, 2008

Home

I am leaving you with this song because my home does not reside where the four corners of my house meet, it does not live on this street or in this city.  Home is where my heart is and my heart, like my head, has always been in the clouds.  I find home where ever I go and where ever I land. 

I am going home.  See you soon. 

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Morty the Mean

Morty is still here and evidently affecting my brain function.  Tonight I went to Target to pick up a 6-pack of new undies (I must be an old fart because 1) I bought a 6-pack of undies and 2)they threw in a bonus pair and I was thrilled!).  I get home and unfurl those suckers and realize "hmm, I obviously picked up the tuck-in-your-booby undies".  I struggle enough trying to keep my waist band above the rim of my undies and am fairly unsuccessful most days.  Honestly, what is the point of these low rise pants and short shirts?  I fondly remember the days when my shirt used to reach my hip bones.  So now I have granny panties that are probably a good 3 inches above my waist.  Am I going to return them?  Heck no!  I am going to wear them high and proud so Morty can see exactly what he has done to me. 

Oh, Morty grew so large that the skin around the mountain split.  Yep, it's purty.  Glad my bangs cover it.  Hopefully he moves on quickly and doesn't migrate south for the winter.  Ugh, that would be a disaster.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Bad face week

I have a huge zit on my forehead that I have named Morty.  Honestly, it's like a gnome has suddenly sprouted off the front of my forehead and I am afraid the old man is going to start shaking hands with everyone that walks by.  I hate to even call it a zit because it doesn't do it justice--it's really more of a cyst, but when a cyst shows up on your face people typically think they are zits.  So here I am calling my cyst a zit and naming him Morty.

I actually had an appointment with my dermatologist today and she of course asked "how is your skin?" so I pulled up my bangs and showed her Morty.  She took one look at it and said, "Maybe it would be better if you wear your bangs down this week".  I kid you not!  She is the coolest derm ever--I was laughing.  She then told me about needing to inject a steroid into one of her own this week because it looked rather inflammatory.  Laura, I was totally thinking of you when I was there and I hoped she was going to suggest some zit juice (or botox, whatever), but no luck.  It looks like I will have to wear the bangs down for another week.  This sucker hurts--one of my co-workers hugged me yesterday while I was sitting in my chair and her boob attacked Morty.  Ouch. 

Thursday, December 4, 2008

No more Mr. Mice guy

I decided to spare you any further mice stories only because it would sound so unbelievable and I don't want you thinking I actually make up stories about killing catching mice.  I got a HUGE kick out of reading your comments, and Meredith, I totally get not wanting to watch it.  If you had listened you would have heard me gagging as she tossed the mouse around.  Honestly, I don't have the heart for killing anything which is why I was so disturbed when forced to do it.  I was just so impressed with my cat--after all these years we have lived together...I have decided she must have developed dementia.  She suddenly wants to sit on my lap and she wants to sleep on me at night.  And now she is killing mice?  That is so not my girl. 

Life is getting crazy busy again at work.  We had the best little team of four at work--we all got along well and enjoyed each other and best of all, we actually worked well together!  Slowly they have left me over the last several weeks and today my mentor left me.  It was hard.  The only thing worse than still feeling like an idiot in my job and having no one to ask questions of is realizing that I will now be responsible for a lot more stuff!  Ack! 

Fortunately my vacation does start in a couple of weeks.  I am so ready for a break.  I'm ready to be away from work for a while, I'm ready to be away from the cold and dreary winter.  I am just ready.  I am not sure that I will be blogging while I am away.  It's not that I don't want to drag you with me on vacation, but I don't own a laptop so unless I borrow Chennie's it probably isn't going to happen.  Of course, I don't know the last time I actually went more than a week without email or internet so who knows?

The house is a pit and my dishes are unwashed and other horrible unmentionables are growing in my kitchen (I know what you are thinking--you think I caused the mice, but you are wrong!).  I admit to feeling more than slightly embarrassed when my mom planned an unscheduled visit this after.  This is what I am most going to love about them living so close--the rush of embarrassment when mom sees how old the dirty dishes stacked on my counter really are.  Of course, they could always buy me a dish washer for Christmas, wink, wink.  Pretty please?!?  

Monday, December 1, 2008

Cat & Mouse

This is how proud I am of my cat, I actually took the time to open a YouTube account and waited and waited while the videos loaded.  Here she is after the kill--there is no blood and it looks like she is playing with a toy but please DO NOT SHOW TO LITTLE CHILDREN.  Ok, I feel better now. 

and more video just cuz I am so proud!

The first video is the better one, but she gets a really good mouse toss in with the first 20-30 seconds of the second video.  The first video was with my camera and the second was with my camcorder...definitely a difference, but not the one I was expecting!  In the first video I had cornered her after she tried to take it to my bedroom...uh huh...not the kind of 'bedroom surprise' I was hoping for!  Because she has never shown any interest in killing mice I was a little concerned that it was just stunned so I did touch it just to make sure.  And, yes, I did gag a little bit while she kept chewing at it and thumping it against the wall.  Ugh.

Ok, the 'bare hands' story is as follows...I bought and moved into my very first house two and a half years ago.  It is an older house and had sat vacant for years.  A few nights after I moved in I am sitting on the couch watching TV when I notice the cat.  She was pawing at the wall, again.  To prove to her that nothing was wrong I picked her up, opened the electrical box/utility box on the wall and out scurried a mouse!  I was so not ready for that!  I dropped the cat over the mouse and yelled, "Get it, Siva!".  The poor little mouse was a bit stunned and wasn't moving terribly fast, but the cat sniffed and walked away.  Because I have a loooong and somewhat unfortunate history with mice I was not about to let it run away and procreate.  I didn't have a shoe or slipper (and trust me, I would have pounded it into pancakes if I'd had one) so I grabbed this fleece bed that my cat sleeps on, covered the mouse and cupped it to contain it.  Well, when you live alone and you can't yell for someone to grab a jar your choices are limited and a piece of cloth is not going to contain a mouse.  So, I squished it.  It was awful!  I started applying pressure and I swear to you the mouse started squealing and when I started feeling things pop I got too nauseated and let go.  I was too horrified to do anymore and the poor mouse did stagger away.  Without going into any more horrifying details I can confirm that the mouse did die.  Ugh, it was awful!  I was so upset--I called my best friend, but I think he was slightly amused by it.  Even thinking back on it disturbs me.

I actually have another doozy of a mouse/mice story, but I am going to wait until tomorrow.  It's kind of funny and I need to end on a funny note after remembering the details of my kill. 

Oh, the cats name is Siva, but is pronounced like Shiva.  I named her after the Indian deity of destruction.  It just seemed appropriate. 

Sunday, November 30, 2008

I'm so proud...

While I had settled in to watch a little Desperate Housewives I heard a commotion in the kitchen/utility room area and then I saw my cat streak trying to hide something from me. She had a mouse! I was so proud! She is a 12 or 13 year-old cat and in the 10 years we have been together she has NOT once caught a mouse. Two and a half years ago I moved into this house after it sat vacant for years and within a few days we found a mouse. Instead of going after it she walked away from it. She left me to kill it (I'm not proud, but I actually killed it with my bare hands. I felt horrible and have a real aversion to killing mice now). She even turned her nose up when someone left their pet rat with me for a couple of hours. She wouldn't even go near it. I have never been so proud of her in all my life so I videotaped her celebratory dance with the mouse. If I get this excited over my cat killing a mouse, can you imagine me with a child?

Four day weekend wrap-up

A couple of things I learned the past four days:

  1. A body at rest, rusts.  No kidding.  I have gone to the gym the past couple of days and my knees and quads are a mess.  Yesterday while I was walking I could feel my patella clicking as it tried to find the patellar groove.  I finally reached down and manually manipulated it back into place.  It lasted all of four steps.  I am definitely doing the ice, ibuprofen and exercises now!  I'm so cold that when I ice my knees I put a bunch of blankets and the cat over it so the rest of me doesn't freeze.  The worst isn't my knees (although they certainly don't feel good).  The worst is the band of muscles right above my knee.  I don't know if I tore something or what, but the area is swollen and tender and has been for over a month.  I want instant gratification and I am certainly getting it right now.
  2. I'm sick of turkey.  'Nuff said.
  3. Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer is NOT all that.  Yep, I read the entire thing in 24 hours and kept expecting it to get better.  I guess in a way I am glad it ended this way because I was all torn up over the way the 3rd book ended.  It just seemed like she wrapped it up a little too neat and tidy.  I guess I am just too much of a realist because that didn't work for me.  There didn't seem to be the action or romance that the previous books had.  Maybe it is just me.  Trust me, if I ever release the book I am working on it will not be all neat and tidy. 
  4. I'm really stinkin' sick of turkey. 
  5. My house looks pretty freakin' clean.  It's amazing and I think my mom was a little surprised at how I was able to pull it all together.  I need to take photos as a reminder that it was once clean and has the potential to be again.
  6. I'm working on my Christmas list.  Honestly the things I want most for Christmas aren't things and I can't put them on my list.  It makes shopping a little difficult. 

Thanksgiving was pretty awesome and turned out differently than I was expecting.  My mom snuck into my house early Thursday to start the bird.  Seriously, she let herself in while I was sleeping and she had the dang thing cleaned, stuffed and in the oven before I woke up.  That was kind of freaky.  Even the cat didn't meow to let me know.  K.Y. and K brought a bottle of mango flavored wine--awesome!  And B & J brought Indian mango pudding--this was totally unplanned, but it was very good.  It was nice to learn of customs from their homelands and my dad was networking and trying to get some job leads.  Everything was pretty nice and then my sister and her family arrived and my dad's Boston Terrorist dog was released--it was absolute chaos and I enjoyed every minute of it.  I never thought I would have enjoyed a house full of noise, but I really, really do.  I had ten people and two animals crammed into two small rooms, but it worked. 

Now I am debating what I should do with the rest of my afternoon off--take a nap, go to the gym, get groceries, or put the Christmas tree up?

Friday, November 28, 2008

Christmas--it's what's for dinner

While I snuggled deep under covers with the cat working as a living heat pack (she vibrates too, what a combo!), my sister, her husband and our father all decided to, um, pop their Black Friday cranberry by hitting Wal-Mart in the largest city in this state.  I had my concerns about this--not for my sister and my unborn nephew/niece (oops, guess I let a big cat out of the bag on that one)--but for my father.  He's not frail, the man is a very youthful 50-something, but he is tall and like other big & tall people he learned early not to push and shove.  For us shorties pushing and shoving is sport, for tall people it is assault.  I flashed back nearly two years ago to the cruise around the harbor in Hong Kong that Chennie's parents bought us.  It was a cruise ship with a buffet line (there is a reason you don't find buffets in many places outside the US--not hatin', just sayin') and a dance floor.  We were the only pale faces surrounded my mostly mainlanders.  For those not familiar with Hong Kong or China, there are some significant differences between these two groups that goes beyond language and food preferences.  People in HK basically view the Chinese much like we mid-westerners view our Kentucky neighbors.  There are certain behaviors that the mainlanders participate in that the HK people find a bit offensive.  One of them is swarming.  Fortunately for me I had experience and I was able to throw elbows with the best of them to sample all the different foods.  Honestly a buffet with the Chinese is like 5 am at Wal-Mart on Black Friday. My poor father, the gentle giant, just stood there with his plate in his hands waiting for his turn at one of the many buffet tables.  By then I was on my second plate and heading back for dessert. 

So I obviously had my concerns.  My poor pregnant sister got slammed into a wall this morning when the doors opened, but my dad beat a path to the TVs with the best of them.  I wish they had taken photos because my sister's descriptions of the event were priceless.  She said there were overturned carts with TVs in them.  Others were dragging the TV sans-cart to the check out.  Oh, and the smarties at Wal-Mart in our illustrious capitol city thought it best to put the TVs in the frozen goods section of the grocery store.  What???  Personally I am glad I stayed home.

My sister called me high on shopping pheromones to brag about her conquests for the day and even started teasing me with "guess what I got you for Christmas?"  Ok, those of you that have read my blog posts from the last week probably know I don't handle that well at all.  Ok course, I pummeled her with "tell me!" Kind of like the zip it bit in this Austin Power's clip

In the background my dad starts to talk about my gift and to be honest I didn't hear a word of it, but I struggled to catch what he was saying.  Sarah heard my silence and then started yelling at Dad because she thought I had heard what he said.  She gets back on the phone and said something like "well, now you know that you are getting xyz and the surprise is gone".  That's when I started dying of laughter--until she told me I didn't have a clue what she had bought me!  Oh, that's the oldest trick in the book and she fell for it.  Let the Christmas games begin! 

I am Thankful for so many things this year.  I'm thankful for the pumpkin pie and summer sausage/cheese/Triscuit sandwiches I had for breakfast this morning.  And I am going to try and be thankful for the laps I am going to force my fat ass to walk today at the gym.  Actually, I am thankful for that as well.  I developed "runner's knee" about 6 weeks ago and have been in too much pain to walk or elliptical.  The joke is that I don't run, I just have really weak quads.  Like really weak, thank-god-one-of-my-best-friends-is-a-physical-therapist weak.  She wrapped them both last weekend and I have been using ibuprofen and ice (well, does having an indoor temp of 62* count as icing?  I wasn't sure). 

A lot has changed since last Thanksgiving.  Last Thanksgiving baby Haven was just a whispered hope that I shared with my mother.  Today he is a hope I shout out loud.  I look forward to the Thanksgiving dinner that I will someday share with both of my children when they are no longer my someday kids.   Where ever they both are today, I am still thankful. Kodak 358

A picture of the empty harbor cruise ship in HK.  Kodak 391

And pics from the top of the cruise ship.  Kodak 360

All lit of for the holidays.  I can't wait to go back! 

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels to all who are traveling far (some very far) and near to visit family this year.  Enjoy your travels and visits with family:)

I woke up yesterday feeling quite chipper about the upcoming holiday and today I woke up feeling like a 10 year-old on Christmas day!  Last year I hosted my very first Thanksgiving at my house and I loved it.  Loved. It.  I have no idea why I get so perversely happy about making TONS of food for my family and friends to consume.  It's not like I enjoy cooking dinner every night because I've had at least Lean Cuisine dinners so far this week.  And I get stressed out in crowds, especially when a bunch of people are packed into a small space (my house). Somehow I just have an intense feeling of happiness when I cook a big, over-the-top meal for people.  I'm even making cranberry sauce!  Never have I sat through a Thanksgiving with cranberry sauce before! 

I also need to clean because I have some special guests this time.  I have invited a couple of international residents to enjoy the feast with me--a couple from India and a couple from Malaysia and Japan.  I'm hoping every thing turns out well--of course, I'd be happy if the turkey was secured in my fridge right now instead of 40 miles away. 

You know what is after tomorrow?  Christmas!  I love this time of year--the smells, the sounds of Christmas, the food, the friends and family, all the traditions that families stick to. 

What kind of traditions do you have?  Are any of them a little bizarre?

Monday, November 24, 2008

Blessed

Yesterday as I was entering the church my pastor addressed me and asked how things were going (this rarely happens) and when I told him about my week he looked at me like I was crazy.  He said something to the effect of "you're still incredibly blessed".  And he is right.  I'm a weenie.  I needed to process through some things and re-set my expectations and realize that life is still pretty good.

Then tonight as I was cleaning up one of my closets (I was trying to re-distribute my junk so it looked like there was less) something kind of sharp fell into my face and before I had a chance to react it hit me square in the eye ball.  Instead of cursing the fact that my nose hurt and my eye was on fire, I was relieved that I was wearing my contacts and it protected my cornea from an abrasion.  I did lose the contact, but the eye looks pretty good and I don't think anyone will be able to tell what I did.

I saw Twilight last night - yippee!  Kate, have you seen it yet?  I loved it, but I figured I probably would.  I wasn't the biggest fan of Edward from the previews I saw, but they do have some obvious chemistry so it works.  I even dragged Michael to it and he didn't complain heavily.  He later admitted that it was entertaining and that he liked it.  Of course, that was before I told him that there would be three more movies that he would have to sit through with me.  Hey, it's pay back for dragging me to watch Rocky 8 or whatever the last one was called. 

And tonight as I was getting ready for bed my Windows Media Player was choosing random songs and this is the one that came up:

  

It pretty much sums up how I am feeling despite my frustrations over other things in my life.  I am incredibly and wonderfully blessed. 

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Because I need a laugh, even if it is twisted

You should know that Sarah Palin had just pardoned a turkey 20 seconds before the cameras started rolling.  And in case you aren't clear on the concept, the guy behind her is KILLING the surviving turkeys.  Yep, I can't make this crap up.

Breathe

I like familiarity. I like knowing what is coming next and I don't like surprises. Don't ever tell me "I got you something" and then make me wait until some far (or not so far off) date and time. I don't like it.

I don't like what is going on right now. I am being forced to readjust my expectations. It's not a happy place to be. I'm working on it, I'm just not there yet.

I retreated for a little bit to re-evaluate my situation and work my way through my disappointment. I wrote a lot and then decided it was time to spend that time with family and friends. While I don't have pictures of my friends I do have some of my family. This video was taken today at my parent's new house. They are in the process of renovating the house and as such, have nothing more than a love seat, a few folding chairs, and lots and lots of boxes. Evidently 3 year-olds LOVE boxes.

Ok--after attempting to load this video several times blogger is still not cooperating. I'll try to load it again later.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Love Song

It's been a rough couple of days for a number of reasons and I tend to seek comfort in music.  I happen to love the lyrics to this song and it is beautiful regardless of religious affiliation.  Unfortunately when I youtubed it I couldn't find a video that didn't have graphic scenes of violence from the crucifix scene from "The Passion".  The only others had Christian interpretive dance which I think Christians have totally ruined (I admit it did at least make me laugh--especially of the lovely couple dancing by a huge trash dumpster in an alley. At the very least they could have chosen their location better).   Not a fan of the violence either since I tend to avoid TV.  I will, of course, make an exception for Twilight that is opening Friday.  Maybe now is the right time to start on Breaking Dawn....;-)

Anyway, if you read this please say a quick prayer for me. 

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Improving the economy one purchase at a time...

I think I have been in a chronic state of saving.  As a kid I saved because I wanted a new Barbie and because I had hopes of leaving the dippy town I lived in and knew that a college education was the only way.  Throughout most of my 20s I saved for college (yes, the second degree) and while I was still in college I saved for a house.  Shortly after purchasing my house I began working towards my China adoption and began collecting every little penny I could find in the couch cushions or the backseat of my car.  Then I started a second adoption and somehow decided that I could live on next to nothing in order to try and get the money saved towards that.

No more.  I have depriving our desperate economy of the much needed stimulus (guess what I did with my stimulus check--bought a camera and saved the rest--hehe).  My cousin/contractor came out to measure the space in the living room that I am going to convert into a bookshelf/desk unit.  He's going to use cherry wood and I'm not ashamed to say that it is going to kick ass.  Today I bought a four tiered shelving unit for the kitchen.  Yep, time to organize and get stuff off the floor.  And if that wasn't enough I just blew $100 at the grocery store.  Yes, one hundred dollars for one person.  I guess this is what happens when I don't shop regularly.  That and I was really lusting over the fresh fruit.  I'd rather have fresh raspberries, melon, pineapple over chocolate any day.  I made some pork loin with a mushroom sauce and I am working on a poor man's healthy beef stroganoff because when in transition I cook and clean.  Too bad I'm not putting my energy into some gym time--that is really where I should be burning off my energy. 

Ahhh, life is good.  

coins

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Baby Cate is on her way!

Part of my trivia from the early part of this week was about El Paso...Illinois.  What makes El Paso significant?  Well, I pass through it every time I visit Kristen and this weekend I took a very special trip to Wisconsin.  After two years of waiting, Kristen was finally going to China to pick up her daughter! 

We started our journeys as strangers over two years ago when we were both accepted into the China program at the same agency.  I still consider that a miracle because NONE of the other agencies I contacted allowed singles and only two days before I applied I was told that they would NOT be opening their doors to singles again because of the rumored single exclusion.  We competed (I hate to use that word, but there were only a few slots available) against a number of other single applicants and we were accepted the same day.  I wasn't aware of Kristen until she posted that she was DTC--up until then I had been in the lead, but being the good sport that I am I emailed my congrats and our friendship began from there.   Even though we live several states away we manage to see each other several times a year and talk and email constantly.  Yeah, it's one of those really cool friendships.  We have so much in common it would have been a real shame to have never met. 

Today she left for China and while I write she is still in flight with an expected touch down somewhere in the wee hours of the morning--or early morning depending on how you define your sleeping hours.  So, Friday I happily drove up to WI to celebrate Cate's arrival with her friends and family with a toddler shower.  Let me tell you, that girl got some loot!  It was all I could do to stay out of her toys!  Hopefully Kris won't mind me posting this photo because her daughter is absolutely stunning!  Cate on a bike

Feel free to stop by her blog and say "hey".  Her brother is supposed to be keeping up with posts while she is gone.  I'm already restless--I can't wait to meet me newest little niece! 

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

What the...?

Do you ever have one of those days when nearly everything you hear or see gives you pause?  Seriously, I has to be a full moon or darn near.  Now that I am the only analyst I have been getting these calls: "so are you now involved with project xyz?  Must be you since you are the only one left."  or "I didn't see you at the project meeting for abc...did you forget?"  NO, I didn't forget.  I haven't been assigned and I am not volunteering--I finally told someone today "I can't carry anymore weight.  You are going to have to wait." 

I work with really nice people, emphasis on nice.  But some of their phone calls are making me freakin' insane.  There are a couple of them that like to call, but aren't prepared to discuss the subject they are calling me on.  I am doing a favor for them and they don't have the courtesy to cut the shit and get to the point.  Honestly, one called me today and couldn't remember what she called me about or what she needed.  I kept telling her "just call me back when you are ready" but she was smart enough to know that I had NO intention of picking up that phone again!  So while she fiddle farted around trying to remember what she needed to tell me I actually put the phone down and used the bathroom.  Yep, I'm getting tired and I am really, really looking forward to my LOOONG vacation. 

Which is why I found this picture so funny tonight:Rockin' car

The quality isn't good since I took it with my cell phone, but it was funny enough that I actually blew the 10 cents to send it to my email, my sister's phone and my brother-in-law's phone.  It is your everyday "economy" sedan with a WOODEN rear spoiler.  No kidding--I laughed my toots off when that kid pulled up.  Not only that, it is nailed into the trunk.  It is a couple of 2x4s nailed together and although you can't see it, the stamp from the lumber company is still on the wood.  He even drilled a number of holes in it--I imagine it's to decrease the amount of wind resistance and drag on the car.  The kid didn't even paint it!  He also had a racing stripe down the front of the car, but it appeared to be a peel off or a very sloppy home paint job.  I wonder if he made this in shop class....?

Monday, November 10, 2008

El Paso--which one?

In August 1975, El Paso became the last city in the continental US to convert its telephone service from manual switching.  Prior to that date, telephones in the city could not be dialed directly from any outside location (the assistance of an operator being necessary to place the call) and local telephone numbers consisted of four digits only.

Now that you know that little tidbit, where am I?

___________________________________________________

There is something about road trippin' (yes, contrary to what the previous post indicated, I can spell correctly most of the time) that makes me happy on a weird sort of level.  I love to see the different cities and different terrains.  I love to listen to their music and try to figure out why the local radio stations care so much about the stupid stuff they talk about--it's just kind of fun seeing (or hearing) how other people live. 

On Thursday of last week, the last analyst in my department quit.  I am now a unit of one.  Hmmm....can you say busy?  I tried to get out early on Friday, I even had permission, but when you are essentially the only one trained to do a particular job what do you do?  Well, at least I can find comfort in knowing that I will likely not be eliminated--at least not until some new ones are hired and trained.  It is hard because I counted every one of them as friends.  I hate losing contact with those that I enjoy, but it becomes so hard to maintain relationships when you aren't in frequent contact.  At least at work you are forced together.  It's just a nice little bonus when you realize you enjoy their company. 

What else is knew....oh yea, where did the cold and snow come from???

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Road Tripin'

I think it is going to be a fun couple of weeks. I'm road-trippin' for a few weekends leading up to the big trip. I'm becoming quite practiced at sitting for hours on end in uncomfortable seats. When I left home on Friday is was under 60s, low 70s, breezy and sunny. Somewhere just south of El Paso it started snowing--talk about ugly!

Any idea of where I am?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Puny, but sassy

Thank you for all your well wishes.  I have finally stopped yelling "Fire in the Hole!" every time I flush so I am definitely on the mend.  The biggest problem right now is that I became so dehydrated so quickly.  I think I have been drinking nearly a gallon of water a day since Saturday and I'm still dried out.  Even my eye lids are peeling.  Also, for anyone reading that I may have infected, stomach pain, queasiness and an overwhelming thirst were early symptoms.  Start drinking fluids NOW.  Trust me, I've had food poisoning and never had anything like this.  Oh, and try not to sneeze.  It will only serve to embarrass you later.  Or cough.  Or break wind.  All are very bad ideas.  Believe me. 

I was worried that I would not be well enough to vote today, but I was!  Because we had early voting for so long, I didn't really have to wait in line.  I brought a magazine with me, but didn't get past the advertisements. 

Did it feel like Christmas to anyone else when they marked their ballot?  I couldn't get over the level of excitement that was felt by the others entering the polls, and I admit to having an extra thrill when I punched my candidates name.  Eight years ago I was working in home care and I had one elderly woman (I didn't dare call her that!) that followed politics more closely than anyone else I'd ever met.  When I stopped by her house on November 5th, her blood pressure was elevated and her blood sugar was wacky.  Evidently she had stayed up all night yelling at the TV.  She was quite upset over the outcome of that election and until she died she complained bitterly that the democrats had been robbed.  I wish she was alive for this one--I think she really would have enjoyed herself.  

I will admit that even as much as I support my candidate, I'm really glad the campaigning is over.  For at least the last six weeks I have had an average of three daily contacts from his campaign office.  Honestly, based on the number of crazy people that I do know, I'm a little nervous about the unknown ones having my phone number and address.  Just sayin'. 

Monday, November 3, 2008

Out damn spot!

It's been a really crazy week with a lot going on.  I have two big things I'm working on and the excitement/stress of it all has been a bit overwhelming.  At times like these you really find out who your friends are.  I was quite surprised to learn who is really there for me.   

So, anyway, it's been a big week which is why I kind of blew off the some morning queasiness and strange stomach pain.  My co-workers were trying to convince me I was pregnant (immaculate conception?  Try a devilish GI bug).  I won't go into the details, even though as a nurse I wanna (hence the title of this post...hehe).  Nurses LOVE to brag about their grossest patient stories, and well, I'm pretty sure I am the grossest story right now.  Which is why I am at home today instead of work.  Evidently my sister and I shared more than popcorn when we had our "Fright Night" sleep-over last weekend.  She was the first to come down with it and I was the second and I am really, really, really hoping I didn't give it to Kristen (who was visiting this weekend) because she leaves in 9 days to get her daughter!  

My sister missed several days of work due to this virus and I am hoping that this is the only day I miss.  I do have plenty of water, a little bit of jello and Michael was nice enough to make a TP run for me last night.   I guess I am all set for a "who my baby daddy" marathon this afternoon on TV!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

How do you know you are ready to parent?

I have asked a lot of parents this question and every answer is the same: you are never ready to parent.  You never feel prepared for the lack of sleep, you never think you will have enough emotional fortitude for what's ahead, and most say they never felt they had enough money to have children.  I'm sure even Brangelina had a moment when they said, "But Brad/Angie, we can't possibly support a family of 8 on $40 million a year!"  Don't forget they have to pay for nannies, private tutors, and all the support personnel that come with being beautiful, rich and famous in the US.

Well, this morning I had a moment where I thought I might be ready.  The cat had been asleep literally on my butt when woke up, took a few steps and yakked.  And I didn't get up.  Yep, the cat puked on my bed and I didn't even bother turning the light on.  I just petted her to make sure was ok and rolled over. 

I'm hoping that means I'm getting stronger for the day when my someday children are finally home.  Puke is my Kryptonite.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

From the wassup guys

I know I've been a bit blog lite, video heavy lately, but I think you might be interested in this one.  I've been good to keep my politics to myself, but this one also entertained me. 
You might remember them from the following commercial several years ago, or as I like to refer to it, my dad's annoying "wassup" phase.

Where in the world

A friend sent me an email and called me out on the fact that I haven't been blogging as much. It's true, I admit. I'm hoping to reverse that trend soon, but the honest truth is that I have been extremely busy. It's been nuts at home and at work. I'm not going to go into detail (yet?) on this blog because it is a public blog and there are certain things that I don't need in print that might hang me later. Let's just say work has become a bit frustrating of late. One of my co-workers was fired/quit (depends on who you talk to), my office mate quit today, and the other analyst has cut her hours down from 5 days a week to 3. That just leaves me standing. And I am leaving on my big ass vacation in a few weeks. I haven't had a vacation in....well, I don't recall. Not since I was laid off in summer of 2007, and trust me, that was no vacation. I am going to take all my PTO and blow it at one great vacation. I deserve to treat myself a little (or a lot) because it has been an incredibly challenging year.

I am really looking forward to getting away and visiting with Chennie and Peter. I'm hoping we will get some really good dim sum. Short of living around San Fran, it's impossible to find decent dim sum in the states. I'm looking forward to the busy streets and the smells of a large Asian city. It just doesn't compare to any Western city anywhere. I actually enjoy the discombobulated feeling of stepping off the plane and realizing "I'm in a foreign country" and every thing feels new, strange and foreign. I feel most alive in those moments--when I have no footing and am forced to find my balance once again. I feel like I am living on the edge with no one to tell me what to do or where to go. There is a freedom and a bit of risk in realizing that at that moment no one actually knows where you are in the world.

Hong Kong was a coming of age city for me and still holds an incredible place in my heart. For those that know me well they will be surprised to know that I was once a very quiet, doubting person. Until at the age of fifteen when I traveled to Hong Kong to spend the summer with a foreign exchange student I met. There were no background checks or forms to fill out--I didn't travel with some sort of student exchange. I was just a girl visiting another girl's home land. It was awesome. It was the first time I had been away from my parents for any extended period of time and had NO contact with them. At that time English was not widely spoken and signs were all in Cantonese. I can count the number of non-Chinese that I saw that summer on one hand. It was absolute culture immersion and I loved it. I had to learn to navigate the city by myself with no grasp of the language. I grew up. After I came home I didn't have doubts about the decisions I made--right or wrong. I wasn't afraid of screwing up. I always knew that I was interested in different people, but I think that laid the groundwork for my future schooling as an anthropologist.

When I started this post I was going to talk about the fire-breathing chili cook-off the IS department hosted today. It's a big deal; like Christmas for nerds. I was going to tell you about Tony's "Farm" Chili which actually included animals from his farm (and he doesn't have cows or pigs so try not to think too hard about that one). Instead I am looking ahead and remembering the summer I grew up and became an adult and about the city that gave that to me. I can't wait for my new adventure to begin.

Monday, October 27, 2008

PSA on the Flu

Sunday, October 26, 2008

An apple a day...

I was too lazy/busy to plant a garden this summer so I missed out on the joys of harvest.  Today a new neighbor stopped by my house and asked if she could pick some apples.  Evidently I have a rather rare type of apple tree and even though the poor tree has not been pruned EVER, she wanted to try a couple of apples.  In addition, she placed some picked apples on my porch.  Honestly, they don't look anything like what you see at Kroger or Marsh.  They were small, really dark and pitted looking but oh my goodness were they good!  They were very firm and slightly tart (my favorite kind!). This is the third fall I have lived in this house and never once have I tried those apples.  What a shame!  I am picturing all the beautiful apple pies, apple butter and apple sauce that is in my future!

Monday, October 20, 2008

I'm back....in Texas

I am really starting to like it here. It is bright and sunny and the people are wonderful. My flight was great--except for the take off. Evidently the goal is to get to cruising altitude as quickly as possible because it cuts down on gas prices. Oy, I think I left my stomach behind me. Have you ever noticed that the plane gets incredibly quiet during take-off? No one says a word, everyone is quiet, almost reverent. It makes sense, really, it feels like we are defying gravity and possibly God. Maybe we are paying respect (or holding our breaths) by being quiet.

I am staying at a different hotel this time and I don't think I like it. I miss the other people (ok, how lame is it that I know a lot of hotel staff by name?) and they don't have HBO!?! Darn it, I was looking forward to watching True Blood and the other 70 or so channels the other place has. This place only has 20 or so channels. Granted, I don't have cable at home so I only have about 6 channels. No VH1? How am I possibly going to enjoy my workation now? No TNT, TBS or USA? I might as well be at home. Oh well.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Diamonds and pearls, oh my

I have been busy.  Really busy.  I can't go into all the details right now because I am that busy. 

I went to church this morning and got so busy after I returned home, that I didn't realize until after I did the dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, paying of bills and other things that I was wearing my pearls and diamonds.  I got a glimpse of myself wearing my pearl necklace and ratty denim shirt and I was kind of taken back.  So this is what today's June Cleaver looks like? 

I'm heading to Dallas once again.  This time I will be traveling with my office mate so I may not have as much time for blogging as last week.  I always stay at the same hotel because I like the staff, hot breakfast and dinner and the easy access to a Super Target across the street.  My office mate wanted to stay at another hotel because it has other amenities.  Personally, I think the big-a** mall next door is probably the amenity that she is most interested in.  Hopefully this will give me a chance to catch up on some movies. 

Oh, and I did see the Oliver Stone movie "W" yesterday.  It's no secret that I don't like the guy, but I was worried that he would be represented in a negative light.  While I don't agree with him, he is still the leader of our country and I am uncomfortable with the US making negative movies about our leaders that are then exported to foreign countries.  Surprisingly, I liked it.  I didn't feel it made fun of him.  I actually began to *gulp* like him.   I thought that was amazing--Stone actually made me like the guy.  I don't know--hopefully this is one thing that Republicans and Democrats can actually share.

Can anyone explain to me why it was warm enough to use my AC a few days ago, but now my heat is on?  I woke up this morning to a 60* house.  I'd had enough--I had to turn on the heat.   

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Last night's fortune

This was the message in last night's fortune cookie:

"You have a strong desire for a home and your family comes first"

I wonder what magical things are in the cards for me now...

bad fortune(fortunately this fortune hasn't popped up yet!)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Fun with the Fingerprints

I love to read and I especially love to read the newspaper which is why I thought I'd pass this little tidbit on to all you in adoption land.

The US is preparing for another census. Since there are over 305 million people living in the US they will need 3.8 million workers to help with the effort. HOWEVER, they will all need to be fingerprinted and undergo an FBI back ground check. Does that sound familiar? Doesn't CIS send our prints to the FBI to scan through their databases before we receive a 171H? If so, I feel very very sorry for both CIS and FBI.

Fun with Eggs

Scrambled eggs aren't supposed have blue and green in them with crunchy stuff, are they? I'm concerned. I tried to pick around it and eat only those parts that looked yellow, but who the heck knows at this point. The breakfast at the hotel always starts nicely on Monday but quickly turns bad. By Friday I'm probably going to be picking through moldy bagels and the fruit will have turned south.

I did make a Target run last night and have a new package of Rolaids Plus (with gas relief...haha) to help with the other effects of the food. Only 60 more hours and I will be home!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Fun with Cheese

I'm not actually lactose intolerant. I am allergic to casein, a milk protein, but the end result is the same. Evidently the Texans put cheese on EVERYTHING...even things mid-westerners don't (hello...we have a lot of cows too, but c'mon, this is crazy). Yesterday afternoon was rough. In addition to the little caffeine issue I am having, they had to heap lots and lots of cheese. Yesterday's lunch was pretty much cheese with a side of lettuce. I can't tell you how hard I squirmed in my seat. Today's lunch was better (but this was after a cheesy breakfast--I just don't understand!), but it was still cheesy. Oy, the pain! All I could think of was the above scene from the movie French Kiss. That is exactly what it is like and I was quite concerned I was going to have to return to the hotel. Fortunately ibuprofen and naprosyn usually help and today I called on both of them. Ugh. NO MORE CHEESE. I guess I will be eating Japanese or Chinese food whenever I can.

Otherwise things are fine. I did discover that Texas has these nasty little biting ants no bigger than a fleck of dust. Wow, did that bugger sting.

I'm beginning to wonder if I should start selling my rain-giving services to people. Every time I visit Dallas they start having terrible thunder storms and tornadoes. Evidently they have been in a drought--less than 12 hours after arriving it starts to storm and the locals are happy. The same thing happened a couple of weeks ago in Georgia. They've had a nasty drought the past year or so. I arrive and within 12 hours they start having torrential rains. Hmmm...I may need to take my little act on the road.

Fun with Caffeine

I'm caffeine sensitive. Honestly, get two Cokes in me and I act like a drunk college girl, just without the nudity. So yesterday I'm slamming Diet Cokes down because I have a hard time sitting still for 8 hours concentrating on a lecture about programming, when it hits me...a Diet Coke buzz! Seriously, it was crazy. It hit in the afternoon and although I was tired, I felt like I was going to start crawling out of my skin. I contemplated getting up and pacing the halls, but I was a little concerned that was a one-way ticket to a 72 hour mental eval hold at the local hospital (considering EVERYONE in the classroom, including the instructor, are or were ED nurses it seemed like a bad idea). So today I am loaded up on cheese (oy, my poor belly), sugar and Diet Coke. Not sure what the day will hold, but I'm betting it will be exciting!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Thankful

I know I've been a bit irritable lately, but I have not been so far gone that I am not thankful for the people and things in my life.  Between the "waiting-for-a-referral" exhaustion prior to September 1st and all the on-call and over time at work I'd become rather out of sorts.  Definitely not feeling like me.  The past couple of days have been better and I am struck by the beauty of small things.  And little events.  And people's un-ending generosity in times of need--whether physical or emotional support.  Today I was driving down the road with my windows and sunroof open feeling the warmish cool breeze on my skin and I realized it has been ages since I have felt this way.  Free again.  And I know I am in the midst of transition and it doesn't scare me or worry me like it normally would.  Instead, I was able to enjoy the moment and appreciate that although this moment won't last long, neither will the difficult ones.  While I am often anxious to move forward with the next big thing in life, I have become so aware of late that I need to appreciate this moment.  Now.  Life changes and sometimes these changes are desired and sometimes they aren't.  Even when it is something that I want, there are often ripple effects throughout other parts of my life.  That being said, here are the highlights of what I am appreciating right now:

  • It is fall, glorious fall!  I love the way the temperature changes.  I might be freezing as I go to work in the morning, but as the sun begins to spread across the horizon it warms the earth and everything on it.  Glorious!
  • The feeling of motion.  There have been times when I have been so out of tune with my body that my limbs didn't seem to work together.  As I was walking the gym track this week I reveled in the fact my body is moving together and going faster than I have in years.  Just the feeling of my heels hitting the pavement brought such joy to me, especially as I remembered times when I couldn't find this place.
  • Health.  Over the past couple of weeks a number of my co-workers have been out of work for the week due to strep infections or kidney stones or kidney infections.  While I struggle with allergy related issues, it is exceedingly rare for me to be sick enough to take a day off, let alone a week.  I am thankful everyday that I wake up and am able to draw a full breath. 
  • Family.  I've alluded to some family rifts that have been a major stressor for me over the last few months.  It has been exceptionally painful to have to go down that too familiar road again.  I think some of that is resolving and I am so grateful.
  • My friends.  While I may appear to be overly open on here, there is a lot that I don't share.  It has always been difficult for me to be completely open and raw which is why I tend to only place my heart in the hands of a few.  These two have seen me at my best and my worst.  They have celebrated with me during the good and hugged me listened during the ugly.  My life would not be nearly as rich without them in it.
  • The supportive community of bloggers that I have gotten to know over the last year or two.  Your advice and your support has been very needed and appreciated.  Thank you.
  • The beauty of an early morning sunrise or late sunset.  Sometimes the beauty catches me off guard as I am not expecting to see the dazzle of God's paint brush.  Most times I am glad for that interruption because it seems to stop whatever else was mulling through my brain.  Each time I see a breath taking sunset I am reminded that life is more than what I see, what I feel, what I hear, or what I smell. 
  • Thinking of my children, wherever they may be.  Every time I see a full moon I wonder about them and their birth families.  I wonder if they will be seeing the same full moon that I see and if it fills them with the same sense of wonderment.
  • Gifts--the kinds that don't come in boxes.  After a very difficult year it was especially sweet to receive two gifts close to each other.  Sometimes they come along just when you need them.
  • The small moments.  As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I had one of those moments while riding down the road today.  It was just too perfect--good breeze, sun, windows down, good song on the radio and no traffic.  Even though I am not an outdoorsy kind of girl, it seems that it is when I am outdoors that I find those little moments of absolute joy. 

Have a joyous weekend!Scottish Highlands

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha' goin' to do?

You know how your mother told you to stay away from bad boys?  Yeah, I've done a pretty good job of it for years, but how could I have predicted that hanging out at the police station would lead to hanging out with misfits?

I've been enjoying my citizens police academy class.  Today we were "deputized", but I had a hard time holding up my right hand and repeating after the officer when he was a goofball (in a good way) with a gun.  Today we learned about domestic violence calls and what makes a felony vs. misdemeanor in our state.  It was an interesting, if not difficult, class to sit through.  Perhaps because I am a bit more aware of those issues since my mother counsels people (mostly women and children) following rape or sexual assault.  I know that many cops, even in this town but probably more so in the rural town she lives in, don't view domestic abuse or domestic sexual assault as a crime and as a woman it was hard for me to sit in the passively in the class and listen to how officers view it from their side. 

We also covered accident reconstruction and investigation and I will never look at our streets the same.  I now know what the paint markings on the road mean, the various radio calls, and point of impacts on the road.  We've had a number of pedestrian vs. car accidents in the last 24 hrs and they talked about how you can tell how fast the driver was going based on where the pedestrian body landed on the car.  You can bet I'll be checking out the damage photos in the newspaper now.

Following class we were in the car lot working up a reconstruction of an accident when another cop car pulled up.  I recognized the person riding shotgun as one of the ED nurses I work with.  After talking with her and the other cop, I think I'm going to look into doing some ride around shifts with them.

The more I sit through class and listen to the officers talk, I realize that their department is really no different than being a nurse.  My dad is fond of repeating a Stephen King quote "SSDD".  Same sh*t, different day.  Or, in this case, same sh*t, different department. 

When my sister and I were shopping last week I was telling her about the classes (did you know you can approximate how drunk someone is by having their eyes track a slow moving object?  Yeah, it's cool) and she told me she could see me working as a cop.  I doubt I would pass the physical, but I do like the process of dissecting a situation and reconstructing the events.  Honestly, aside from the the guns, ammo, spit and curses it's not really different than what I am already doing. 

My nickname is the same throughout the hospital and no matter who is addressing me: trouble.  It doesn't matter if I am talking to the cafeteria direction, the janitor, the pulmonologist they all seem to believe that I am trouble.  So while I will admit the cops are some fun guys to hang out with, but I am a little afraid I could find trouble.  Even with them.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

A week in Review

  • I worked in the nursery this morning at church and for a change, I didn't hate it.  I know that sounds bad, but I never had visions of running my own daycare.  Children are a lot of work--especially if you have multiple children under 12 months old.  I was never one of those women who received a lot of personal satisfaction from babies crawling to her, but today, I did.  There were two other workers in the nursery and yet there was something very good for my soul about feeling babies in my lap and lying against my back.  I wasn't sure why they kept flocking to me, but for once, I did not mind a bit. 
  • I'm going back to Dallas.  In fact, I will spend half of October in Dallas/Lewisville area so if anyone has any suggestions about places to eat or things to do, I'm all ears!  My boss insisted that I complete these courses before the end of the year and I was left with no other options.  I'm hoping this will be the end of it so I can start planning my vacation later this year.
  • Speaking of which, I don't think Kristen and I will be taking a trip to Hawaii this year.  With any luck she will be a MOM sometime in the next 6-8 weeks.  Yay!  I'm so excited and ready to be an auntie to a new little girl.  So it appears I will be flying east to visit Chennie and Peter.  I haven't had any good dim sum in nearly two years and that's reason enough to visit! 
  • NO ON-CALL!!!!  I was quite nervous to open the October on-call schedule because I was dreading to see how many soul-robbing, life-stealing, sleepless weeks I would on-call and the answer is ZERO.  Thank you, Jesus!  I liked having the little bit of extra income, but I like feeling like a human more.
  • My sister and I took our annual shopping trip yesterday.  I know it sounds like a big deal, but I should tell you that my sister and I are not terribly big shoppers.  The reason for the trip is because I will generally buy clothes once a year--yeah, I know that sounds crazy, but it is true.  Not only did I get a number of new pants (I definitely needed them after eating my way through all the stress of this summer), but I also bought several summer tops on sale for only a few dollars.  It was awesome!  Within 60-90 minutes we both had everything that we needed.  Yep, our annual shopping trip is short and sweet!    
  • I have been working on some blog posts about my post September 1st feelings, but I'm not ready to put them out there.  They are dated and eventually I may put them out there, but I am still processing through things.  Just an FYI in case some of my future posts seem a little dated.
  • Why is it still so stinkin' hot?  It's almost October and I'm ready for some cooler temperatures.   

Monday, September 22, 2008

Weirdness Abounds

**I've begun to wonder if the crazy, poisoner was actually a prisoner. I know a lot of places employ prisoners because it is cheap labor. That really makes me nervous. I'm going to have to start paying for all the credit checks I'm having run**


I took today off from work so I could sleep. Truly, I am that tired and overworked. Would you like to guess what woke me up at 11:07 am? Not the cat (although she had been obnoxious), not the lawn mower down the road--it was a low flying plane. Yep, I seriously grabbed the cat and hit the deck and said, "oh, sh**!". Yeah, my sister and I have had the conversation that nearly every time I encounter something life defying that my response is "oh sh*t!". I'm not proud, I truly am not. I'm afraid one of these times it is going to be the big one and the last words I utter before encountering the pearly gates is going to be "oh sh*t". Hopefully God has a sense of humor.

The other weirdo moment happened last night. I HATE receiving advertisements from credit card companies, I hate that they sell my personal information to other vendors so that THEY can also harass me. So when I saw the opt-out insert they tucked behind my last bill, I wanted to make a point of calling. When I called a husky voiced from a wo/man (not too sure, folks) answered. When I told him/her what I wanted s/he asked why I called this number. Considering I had just given her my credit card number I started getting very nervous, especially since this is on the heels of the PayPal Fiasco of my birthday (someone stole my account and bought an Audi car). I explained that the number I called was the number that was provided. So s/he was chatty and was asking about if I had been affected by Hurricane Ike. It seems kind of stupid to even admit it since I live in the Midwest, but yeah, we got hit kind of hard. Besides Texas, we were the next state with the highest number of lives lost due to the storm. S/he asks about the storm twice (what the heck?). Then she finishes my transaction. I asked her what I needed to do since I am planning on going overseas in a couple of months. She then starts telling me to take Immodium because of the food. Honestly, I've eaten some foods both here and abroad that I'm not proud of. The last thing I want to do is sssllllooooww their exit out of me. You understand?

At this point s/he realizes I'm a nurse and starts telling me about her cheating ex-husband. She says since you are a nurse you will understand this, "I started dosing him with spironolactalone and an anti-psychotic and he was not the same after that."

Ok, does that scare you at all? Honestly, it did me. I didn't even know some of the effects of spironolactalone until recently (among other things it suppresses testosterone) but having some fruit loop on the phone admit to poisoning someone, well, that's just not right. That reminds me, I probably need to check my credit again...

Friday, September 19, 2008

Perspective

It's all about perspective. Sometimes it is easy to get pulled down into the mire of everyday life and when you are in the pit you can't see the beauty that still exists. As I've alluded to, there have been some very difficult things going on in my life that have absolutely nothing to do with adoption (how is that for perspective!) and I sometimes can't see the silver lining. I'm still looking for it one particular case, but what happened today was a reminder of just how precious and fleeting life is.

Nearly seven months ago, a co-worker and dear friend lost her husband suddenly to coronary heart disease. It was the kind of heart attack that kills instantly--no amount of CPR, defibrillation, medications or surgical intervention would have made a bit of difference. It was hard on all of us to see a young life snuffed out so abruptly.

Today another dear friend (she has been a silent star of my blogs on more than one occasion) received some difficult news. Her husband went in for some tests to rule out coronary heart disease since they felt the problem was actually related to something else. She was stunned to learn that he has occlusions in five coronary vessels and the cardiologists told her the one occlusion is called "the widow maker". I'm sure you can figure that out. He will need to cardiac bypass surgery quickly. He is a active, young, and has a healthy diet--this was an absolute surprise.

After meeting with her, I decided that our mutual friend and co-worker needed to know, no matter how difficult. Her response initially surprised me, but I got it. She said, "Thank God. At least she knows."

It's all about perspective. She did not know her husband had the same coronary heart disease until it was too late. At least this friend and her husband will have the opportunity to seek treatment and make changes that will prolong his life. Now I pray that some of my family gain the same perspective before it is too late.

perspective

Perspective.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

It is well with my soul

Finding my Balance

I'm sorry for all the kvetching on this blog, I truly am.  I realized today that I have had a lot of upheavals over the last few weeks, but when I look back at the past year I see that it wasn't much better either.  Loss of job, adoption issues, loss of relationships in my life, and other ailments that I'd rather not mention on a public blog.  It's been a lot.  And now I need to find my balance.  Find my peace.  Catch my breath.  Slow down.  Ahhhh. 

It won't be easy, especially if my job has anything to say.  I'm not sure how to navigate through that.  Having worked for this company before I can tell you that they ask for more, more, more even after you have dropped from exhaustion.  It's a very different environment from my last job and I truly miss some things about it. 

Ever notice how when something truly awful happens, God comes along and gives you a little something to remind you that life is still good?  Well, Tuesday after I had slept a couple of hours I was still feeling puny.  Unfortunately, I actually become physically ill  (dizzy, nauseous...you get the picture) from all the stress and lack of rest and sleep so I really debated going to my citizen's police academy class.  I had already missed the previous week since I was in Atlanta, but I didn't want to miss anymore despite how crappy I felt. 

Boy, and I glad I went!  We covered car stuff--specifically, evasive maneuvers.  OH MY GOODNESS it was so much fun!  I got in the cop car and the Sergeant was weaving in and out of the orange cones forward...and in reverse.  Then, if that wasn't fast enough, she would take the car up to 50-60 miles an hour, hit the brakes and slide to make a fast turn.  And the donuts...the backward car donuts.  It. was. too. much. fun!  The instructors were very entertaining and as a nurse I certainly could relate to the stories--cop and nurse stories always sound remarkably similar.  The class has a very diverse mix of people from all nationalities and languages.  Professional and laborers.  Retirees and the unemployed student.  Plus, one of the students is actually the local police beat reporter so I am sure I will have some interesting photos to share with everyone. 

peace

Peace. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Waterboarding and other such tortures

There are all kinds of tortures out there that we use on the enemy and they on us.  If you know yourself well, you know precisely which ones will break you (did ya'll see GI JANE?  Great example).  I can withstand a lot of pain.  I could probably even handle beatings, but I have always known that sleep deprivation would break me faster than anything else.  Well, today I was finally broken. 

I have had one day off since September 1st.  To clarify, I mean a day that I haven't been on-call or been forced to use my personal time for work time.  After being in Atlanta all last week, traveling back late Friday (for which I wasn't paid for) I started non-stop on-call after only 5 hours of rest.  If anyone read through my Saturday rant you know how tired and stressed I was and now you will know how pissed I was that I was only paid 5 hours for 8 hours of work.  I did address this with my boss who bumped it up to 6 hours.  She seemed to think the fact that I was receiving time and a half pay should have influenced the number of hours I could bill for. 

I am a single woman.  As such I can not ask my 'honey' to take over chores that I can not finish.  This means that regardless of how many hours I work, I still have more work at home that can not be ignored.  If you follow that thought out a reasonable person would realize that if I am forced to work 14 hours and I still have 4 hours of home work, then I will be working for 18 hours.  So, yesterday I worked two hours over so it was 11:45 pm before my head hit the pillow.  At 1:47 am, the help desk calls me at home.  I was then forced to endure a conversation with the dumbest person I have never met.  Honestly, I am really hoping she has sort of vision impairment that will excuse her level of ineptitude.  It was so awful I told her to find someone, anyone that I could talk to instead to do her work for her (I wanted to tell her to find a patient since they were probably in better shape than she was). It was a challenge even with the second person.  Remember the whole conversation about "click the big red cancel button?" Yeah, it was that all over again and when I start getting that frustrated I begin talking very slowly and very softly.  This ignoramus actually had the nerve to ask me at 2 am why I sounded tired?!? 

After 45 minutes she had to take a break and said she would call back to finish the last item (the same thing we had already done twice!).  I called and left a voicemail for my boss in tears telling her we needed to talk because I couldn't do this anymore.  I was so exhausted, but the fear/anxiety associated with being jolted out of sleep by my phone ringing and knowing that there would be no end until next Monday, well, it broke me.  Every time I have tried to lay down and take a nap the last 3 days has resulted in being paged.  I finally broke.  I laid in bed crying and begging for sleep knowing that my body and mind were too messed up at this point to relax for sleep.  After an hour of lying there in agony I decided to get up and go about my day.  I wasn't getting paid to stay home and not sleep so I clocked in at work at 4:30 AM.  Let me tell you, I am some level of evil pissy when I am that tired.  Unfortunately, it didn't last long.  I was so tired sitting there with my trainer (who drove up from the Carolinas to work with me) that I actually started crying.  It wasn't even the fact that I was tired, it was that I was exhausted.  My boss took me off call for the rest of the week and I was instructed to finish up with the instructor and go home.  My instructor was awesome and told me she is the same way--rarely cries until she becomes exhausted.

So, now I am exhausted and embarrassed.  I felt like they made a big spectacle of it all (even though I know they took the steps they needed to take to let people know about the changes), but I still feel like a schmuck for not being able to pull my own weight.  I'm hoping this means I'm done for good.  There is no amount of money that numbs the pain of being on-call.  I am feeling so burned out right now that it makes it very difficult to go into work. 

Monday, September 15, 2008

The suspense!

Ok, be prepared that you are going to see a few more clips of Twilight until it is released on November 21st.  And I will be talking about the last book until I finish it.  I've decided to wait a few days before starting it since I know I won't be able to put it down once I start.  I know now that I can NOT give away any plot lines because Meredith (and others, I'm sure) are still reading.   Enjoy!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Go Away Ike, Tina's not here!

First off, I do not want to sound like I am making light of the devastation that Texas and surrounding states have suffered as a result of the hurricane. It truly is horrible. Even though what we have felt in the Midwest is really NOTHING compared with what the coast is receiving, I do think it truly shows the awfulness when even the Midwest is also hit.

Here is a video I shot this afternoon before the worst of it hit:

I felt like I was under attack because the black walnut tree 20 feet from my back door suddenly began raining walnuts and other debris onto my roof. Before the storm I had a bunch of leaves in my front yard but as you can see from the video, I won't be raking leaves! I lost my cable, internet and phone connection around 2 pm and the power sometime after that. Ugly. If we got this much damage from all these miles away, I have a hard time imagining the horror of what Texas received.

Ok, note to Kristen and Kate (Kate--I don't think I have your email or I would be emailing this instead!). I finished Eclipse and I am heart broken! I am so, so sad. Seriously, I wanted to cry but I was rushing off to meet my FCC families for an Autumn Moon Festival (yes, even without electricity!). I am sad for all of them, but especially Jake and Bella. I have never been in love with two men at once, but I did make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend (because he assured me it would be ok--I should not have fallen for that line!) and I am all too familiar with how horribly wrenching that pain is. Anyway, I'm sad but I don't know if I should just jump in and start reading Breaking Dawn or give myself a few days to digest it all. Some books just do that to me--I read The Lovely Bones a couple of years ago and I loved it, but I was terribly blue about it for several days. At least once a year I pull it out again to read, but I usually avoid parts of the book that make me cry. Same thing with Steel Magnolias; my version of the movie ends right after Julia Roberts has the baby. Real life is hard enough without adding fiction.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Whine-fest continues...enter at your own risk

Well, I did warn you that this blog was going to be fluff until I knew what I was going to do about this whole 'starting a family' thing.  So, be forewarned that I am feeling more than slightly whiney today which is better that the word I really want to use.  Unfortunately, the whinier I get the worse my language becomes and while it is one thing to say the words, it's another to actually write them.  That, and my mom reads.  Hi Mom!

If you thought my grump-fest was bad at 0730, it only intensified throughout the day.  Yeah, apparently the person that was supposed to be on-call for the new application decided that since I knew it fairly well that I could manage being on-call for both things.  So, by 5 pm this evening I had logged 16 calls.  Just to clarify, we usually only log 2, 3 at the most and some nights we can go all night without a call.  So, yeah, I was busy.  At least one of the calls took an hour to deal with because I had to call others in to solve it.  Between stupid *crap* (oh, I really want to use other words right now) and the frustrations over access, I'm really pissy.  Fortunately the Help Desk tech I was working with was an absolute sweetheart and he tried everything he could to make things easier.  He was so apologetic every time he called.  He even e-mailed my boss and told her all about the hard day I'd had, but that I had still been a joy to work with and that I had helped him out with a lot of issues.  I will admit, that did soften the stink of the day. 

Michael and I are going to tempt the on-call fates by seeing a movie later.  I figured if we waited until after the change of shift it *might* be better.  Generally speaking (and I realize that I am probably shooting myself in the foot and double-jinxing myself here) the night shifters are more self-sufficient. 

Anyway, enough whining.  I did want to comment about Atlanta though before I close this post.  I have to say, they are the coolest, nicest people ever even if it feels like they live in Satan's armpit.  Honestly, have you ever stewed in your own juices?  I've been told to not stew on things, but I seriously was stewing in my sweat and ick until I finally got in my car last night and cranked the air on.  I smelled like an old gym sock.  Did you know that the Atlanta Airport is the busiest in the world?  Me neither until I sat in the airport long enough to hear the ATL infomercial.  The number of people rushing by--it was amazing and it was great people watching.  I actually ditched class early because Rajani got out early and we were both going to try to get on standby for earlier flights.  Well, did you know that Delta doesn't allow stand-by flights?  They are happy to upgrade you to an earlier time for $50, but can not guarantee a seat. What kind of crap is that?  Anyway, we did some shopping, rode the train A LOT from concourse to concourse and just enjoyed each other's company.  It was really nice to make a friend on my travels.  And to think I came prepared to finish reading Eclipse!  Note to Kristen and Kate--I just finished reading the chapter where Bella tries to get it on with Edward and he instead proposes to her.  You both have weighed in on your book preferences, but so far I am really enjoying book 1 and 3 the most.  Of course, I still have one more to go so we will see if that still stands!

It was a little embarrassing to run into the instructor of the class I just ditched in the airport at the same coffee bar.  Yeah, he had a few words for me and I was tickled to find out his flight was actually leaving two hours before mine.  I'm sure that won't be last I see of Jeff so I will need to be well behaved for the next class.  The people are very nice in Atlanta.  Even at the airport.  I had ordered some food, but the staff gave me a broken tray so I was forced to lay the tray across my arm and hold the drink in the same hand while dragging my carry-on bag and purse with the other hand.  A pilot saw me struggling and insisted on helping.  By the time he came along I had finally figured it out and was fine, but it was still nice that he offered. 

The only thing hotter than Atlanta was my own stewin' city.  I'm not making this up--the humidity level according the the National Weather Service reported 96% humidity yesterday.  Evidently there was really bad weather before I came home and flooding has again ensued.  By the time Ike's effects reach us tomorrow we are going to be saturated. 

Oh, and if you are ever feeling ignored and that you need more attention, get a henna tattoo.  I swear, I've had more strangers of all nationalities come up to me the last few days and ask about it.  I think that because I am so pale, the brown stain is more prominent on me than it is on Indian women.  Even the Chinese dude at my fave Chinese take-out place with scary-ass tattoos commented on them this evening.  There for a second I knew I had some street cred...until I told him it was only henna.  I know it usually take 1-2 weeks to fade, but at this point I'm wondering if they will fade.  Like I said, very prominent.  Very attention grabbing.  I should be a hit at church and at the Autumn Moon Fest with the FCC kiddos tomorrow. 

Anyway, for those of you inland, enjoy your Ike fall-out tomorrow and for those of you on the coast I am very, very sorry.  Be safe.

Welcome Home--I'm on duty again

Can I just say how much being on-call poisons my work experience?  It is especially distasteful because what was supposed to only be temp has become permanent even after protestations.  Not only that, they don't even give me the tools to be on-call properly.  I finally got home from GA really late last night (any travel that occurred after 4 pm was unpaid, of course, so I am even more pissy since I got home late).  I drive directly from the airport to the Help Desk for an internet access card that isn't there.  There is only one access card in my dept and would you like to guess who has it?  I'm not going to go into the details for fear of hanging myself, but let's just say that person does not work on-call. 

I got paged at 7:30, which I slept through because I didn't get to bed until 2 am.  The Help Desk then called my cell phone which I finally heard.  They were paging me about an application I don't even have access to.  I think they had planned to load it on my laptop, but I have no idea if it is there because I can't access anything on my computer's desktop w/o some sort of access.  Argh.  And unfortunately once I am up, I am up all day even though I will be too tired and lazy now to actually do anything.

The best part?  I have 9 more days of this crap.  Gotta go, I hear my phone ringing again...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

End of the vacation

I should know better than to watch a scary a$$ movies before going to bed, but I never learn. Fortunately, instead of feeling scared it is making me very sleepy. Do you ever have dreams where you think you can't fall asleep? Well, I'm watching "The Invasion" with Nicole Kidman and although it is supposed to be scary, it's only making me feel very, very sleepy. Very sleepy.

I had an enjoyable evening. I went shopping with my new friend Rajani. It was fun just to shop for me and I have ABSOLUTE iPhone envy. Seriously, I have a problem. My cellular contract is up for renewal in a few days and I have a free upgrade so I think I am going to cave. Just think--an iPod AND a phone. Plus all the other great features. Well, let's just say I have total iPhone envy. Oh, and I bought some make-up. It has been ages since I bought any make-up and it feels pretty good.

Say a prayer that I can get out of here tomorrow. Rajani and I are going to leave class early to try and avoid Friday evening rush hour traffic in Atlanta. I've been warned that it is worse than LA--ugh. I really want to get out of here before the weather gets nasty. Honestly, I don't know how coastal people survive--I would hate having hurricanes and other natural nastiness ruining my plans. Hopefully we won't see much from Ike up here; it just depends on how bad the storms get.

My henna tattoo is drawing a lot of attention. EVERYONE is asking about it. I peeled off the black henna (that you saw in the previous photos) and now it has left a nice golden-brown stain behind. Hmmm...I wonder if this will garner a "special" pat down tomorrow while going through security. Guess I better put on my pretty panties.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Day Two of my Faux Vacation

Well, I fell off the caffeine-free wagon by 10:30 this morning. Really, I had no other option. Have you tried sitting in an uncomfortably cold class room while the teacher droned on about 1.) things you already know and 2.) something in a foreign language. Honestly, I don't want to think about xml codes or whatever else he was talking about in my moments of lucidity.


My "vacation" got better at 3:30 when he let us out early and I decided to meet up with a woman in the hotel who is also taking one of the classes at the center. She is Indian and wanted to head over to the Global Mall to do some shopping and eat. I'm glad I went with her because I had a great time (although for the life of me I still can not keep her name in my head to save my life--I feel like a real schmuck--it's not even a hard name to pronounce, I just can't keep the vowels in the correct order). Anyway, we did some shopping and I had my first dosa, a southern India type of food. Very good! Oh, and you know how I wanted another tattoo? Yeah, well I sorta got a new one!

No worries, Mom, it's only henna! Afterwards he returned to the hotel and I am enjoying watching Fringe. I can't help it--I love Sci Fi and anything that looks remotely X-File-ish.

Kate--I am really trying to go slow through Eclipse. Honestly, this is the longest I have made it. The other books I devoured within 24 hrs and I know I will race right through Breaking Dawn. I hate the end of a good book series (I got weepy during the last chapter of the Harry Potter series). I can NOT wait until the movie comes out and I was giddy when I saw they were releasing it a few weeks early! I really hope the movie is good and they make movies out of the other three books!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Ahhh

Today has been a pretty sweet day. I left for Georgia (the flight was only 40 minutes late for a change), we arrived with some turbulence. My driver (yes, my driver!) was waiting for me. Not only was he waiting for me, he was driving a Lincoln Towncar. Honestly, if I'm going to be chauffeured, I really prefer the Towncar and I was feeling pretty psyched when I saw it! He even had a little driver's uniform on! He took me on a little tour of Atlanta and that was kind of nice. Mom told me that I need to ask him to take my photo in the car on Friday when I return to the airport.

I ended my day with some Chinese delivery and now I am curled up on the hotel couch, using free Wi-Fi and cruising the 50 of so cable channels on the TV. Oh yeah, baby, this is almost as good as a mini-vacation!

Michael pointed that that I am a magnet for natural disaster. So far in my travels I have had tornadoes, floods, typhoons, my plane has been hit by lightening, lost an engine and had an electrical fire (separate incidents). So I was obviously a little nervous about traveling south during hurricane weather. I had the option of Dallas or Atlanta and I'm thanking God now that I chose Georgia. Of course, just about the time I got settled in the heavens opened up and we had a huge storm. Hopefully it won't be any worse than just some rain.

Tomorrow morning class starts. I've been caffeine free for three weeks (honestly, with as anxious as I have been there was no need for anything extra) but I'm thinking I may have to break my fast tomorrow. Classes tend to be very intense and there is a lot of hands on action and a lot of presentations of skills in front of other students so I need to be very alert.

Oh yeah, and I'm half way through the book Eclipse. Kristen, if you are reading, I'm to the part where Jacob and Edward are joining forces...well, at least they are working together.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Blessings

Today we sang this song at church and while I have sung this song several times before, this was the first time that I felt moved to tears.  There have been times in my life, both in good times and in my bad, that I am overwhelmed by His presence and the comfort that brings me.  Today was one of those days.  

Saturday, September 6, 2008

I'm ok, really

Just wanted to assure people that I am doing fine, especially after my particularly whiny post last time.  I wasn't sure what to expect or what I would feel on Monday, but truth be told, I didn't feel much of anything.  Honestly, part of me felt relief that it was done (not that is was over, but because I anticipated all the highs and lows would finally end). 

After the uber-sucky birthday (yeah, I'm still smarting over that) I decided to stay in my PJs all day and watch Dexter, Season 2 videos that my mom got me for my birthday.  It's become a trend now--last year was season 1 and I'm sure next year it will be season 3.  That's all right, I actually enjoy those kinds of gifts.  Every year for Christmas my dad buys me the same fancy chocolates (oh my they are so decadent and spicy--I get excited every time I see them--curry and paprika, sugar-crystaled violets and red chilis, it is truly amazing what this company does with chocolates.  If you want the name, let me know and I'll email you) and a funky new flashlight.  No kidding.  I have at least 2-3 flashlights stashed in each room in my house.  It started as a joke, but I have gotten so many cool flashlights (did you know Hummer makes flashlights?) that I really look forward to this gift.

So, anyway, I watched almost the entire season of Dexter in one day.  It was awesome.  I truly needed the downtime.  And when I returned to work on Tuesday I discovered that although I did not get the usual party and cupcakes that all the other employees get (my boss' birthday was only a few days after mine which explains why mine will never be celebrated) several of my co-workers remembered the day and celebrated.  I was truly moved by the gifts I got and someday I might actually get around to posting the photos!

I have decided I need to do something fun for myself.  I have gone out nearly every night this week with my friends and it just felt good.  It felt good to not be tied to the computer and clicking refresh on my e-mail 6,000 times a day.  I'm not sure what I want to do next.  I'm signed up for at least one work related class so that will be a distraction.  I am seriously thinking about a vacation.  Aside from holidays and the one or two days I had off during my mom's surgery or visiting Kristen, I haven't had any vacation in a year.  Kris and I have talked about taking a little vacation to Hawaii, but I have also been thinking of visiting extended family in Hong Kong.  Of course, I had wanted to visit the Greek Isles after graduating with my last degree, but buying a house got in the way of that though. 

I'm not sure what plans I have for the blog at this point.  I probably won't have as many things to report and write on and it might largely become a 'fluff' blog like my other one.  Right now I'm just not feeling the strong urge to write, at least not in this forum.  My other blog has been sorely neglected for better than two weeks now and I do need to attend to it at some point. 

Feel free to check back in later and drop me a line when you are around.  It has been so nice to get to know the many PAPs and APs over the last year. 

For those that did not receive referrals before September 1st, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.  I certainly hope Vietnam opens it's doors again soon.  I am constantly aware that although it is terribly disappointing for all those who have been trapped in this mess, it is worse for the kids.  We can come home each night to an air-conditioned or heated home.  We can eat or drink whatever we want because we can afford to.  We don't have to wonder where the next hug will come from or if anyone will comfort us when we cry.   We still live good lives and want for little.  I wish at least that much for every child.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

My Forgotten Birthday

I never thought this birthday could be bad except in the event of not receiving a referral before September 1st.  However, I can tell you that yesterday's birthday was the worst and it had nothing to do with the shutdown. 

I woke up Saturday morning and checked my e-mail (duh, don't the rest of you?) and I started seeing a bunch of e-mails in Italian from PayPal.  I just assumed they were phishing for information and I deleted them.  In total, I had 8 e-mails and only the first and last were in English.  It wasn't until I looked at the final e-mail that I read what it said and the basic message was that I had just purchased a Saab (yes, the car) with 850 GBP (Great Britain Pounds).  Yep, you read correctly, a car.  So, I logged into the PayPal account that I thought I had deleted years ago (because it was a piece of $hit even then) and learned that the e-mails were legit.  Someone had transferred 1200 GBP to my account and used 850 GBP for a second-hand Saab.  I immediately called the credit card that I had listed and was told there had been no charges (that card had expired 6 months ago and I had changed numbers at the time--thank God, or they could have cleaned me out).  I sent off a bunch of e-mails to PayPal asking for resolution and then started reviewing my credit reports for any abnormalities.  So far, so good. 

My mom and I went ahead with our plans, but because I hadn't eaten in 15 hours and I was already quite stressed over the whole PalPal security breach and potential stolen identity issue I think my blood sugar must have dropped because I was less than pleasant at that point.  It gets better--then, my sister and her family couldn't find their way to the festival and I begin to lose my mind telling my brother-in-law, "south, you need to walk south".  I shouldn't have been a jerk because I have serious direction issues, but I thought I was doing pretty good because I told him "if you're left hand is touching the brick building that houses XXXXXX business, then you are going south".  Or, "you need to head towards the court house.  Now you are going south."  Unfortunately my patience is at an end from teaching the computer users at the hospital for the last three weeks.  An example of one conversation:

me: you need to click on the big red button on the computer screen that says CANCEL.  Did you do that?

her: I don't know.

me: How do you not know?  It's a yes or no question.  Either you clicked on it or you didn't. 

her: I don't know.

me: If you clicked on the big red button that says CANCEL you won't see that button any more.  Do you see that button now?

her: I don't know.  How do I know?

ARRRGHH.  This same person and I had many more conversations about the elusive big, red CANCEL button.  I finally got to tired of it (if I ever start talking to you very slowly and very softly, please know it is because I am struggling with my every breath to not come through the phone and beat you senseless with it) so I went up to where she was (which involved lots of stairs and elevators since the layout is funky so that really put me in lovely form).  Imagine my surprise when I arrived and that big, red CANCEL button was glaring me in the face!  I clicked cancel moved to the next screen and this person had the nerve to ask, how did you get it to go there?  I clicked the big, red CANCEL button you moron!  Actually, I was very nice.  I explained and demonstrated that when you click the big red CANCEL button it allows you to navigate to a new screen. 

Anyway, my sister's family finally arrived and then my phone rang.  I won't go in to detail about what was said, but I will say the person on the other end of the phone was supposed to meet all of us for my birthday to shop the fair and eat.  This person, of all people, should have been there to celebrate my birthday and decided not to.  Not only that, this person later said, "I always confuse your birthday with your sister's".  This person is a liar.  This person has always remembered my birthday and has always been the first one to send me an e-mail or leave me a voice mail to say "Happy Birthday".  This person has never forgotten a single birthday of mine prior.  I hope this person is reading this right now and knows how hurt I am. 

So, I'm stung by that awful phone call, my blood sugar is dropping (I'm not diabetic, but I get hypoglycemic sometimes when I don't eat and/or I am stressed), I'm dehydrated, and I'm already burned from walking around for an hour and a half and then after entering two different restaurants my sister decides that neither one is good enough.  At this point I'm just wondering how much longer I'm going to last before I drop because she is being so persnickity.  However, it would have improved things if she had mentioned she had a baggy full of Teddy Grahams in her monster purse, but she did not mention that for several more hours.   I finally decide to leave them in my dust and haul ass into a favorite little family owned pizza restaurant.  They catch up, I have some non-diet soda and things start to look better, except now I have to try to explain to my sister why the other part of our party will not be showing up today.  There really weren't any good words for why that person wasn't going to be there.  It was just very disappointing all the way around.  Between this person (whom I should probably refer to TP, except that sounds too much like toilet paper, which is easily confused with ass wipe and I don't want to start calling this person names), the unexplained charges to my PayPal account, the potential identity theft issue, and the overall unease I was feeling--it was just a very difficult day.  Last night I looked at my watch and noticed I only had two more hours left in my birthday and I thought "Thank God!"  I was ready for that day to be over.

Today was a glorious new day and it was nice to go out with my friend, Michael. Not only that, I got phone calls and e-mails from a number of other friends and blogger buddies checking in on me.  I don't need to name you all, but please know that I am grateful for your friendships and for the opportunity to get to know you.  My hope is that my next birthday is vastly different than this one.

Happy Labor Day!

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About This Blog

This started as my story, but has evolved to OUR story. This is the story of life as a single parent to a wonderful little boy while we wait for baby sister. China LID 2.12.07.


But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day.
Habakkuk 2:3

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