Wednesday, May 12, 2010


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One of my fondest summer memories was a tradition that never really took hold. My parents had bought a hand crank ice cream machine. I remember going to the local dairy which included an evening trip to a farm where we poured the cream and my dad left some change on the work bench. I remember the ice and the salt and watching my parents take turns laboring over the crank. My sister and I would anxiously hover wanting the first bite of ice cream and it always took SO long to finish.IMG_5086 copy

Recently I was sharing this memory with my mother and I told her I was thinking of buying an AUTOMATIC ice cream machine. I’m not into ice cream and Duc is lactose intolerant, but the desire to recreate my fond memory with my son was a little too sweet to resist.

Her response surprised me. She asked why I would ever want to do it—she remembered the mess, all the cranking and remembered we gave up on it after only a few attempts.

Our perspectives of the same experience were totally different and I find myself thinking of that a lot lately. IMG_5103 copy

It’s been over 3 weeks since i updated this blog and I think that may be the longest I have ever gone. A series of events left me being so physically and emotionally drained that I simply shut down. By the end of the work day I didn’t want to talk and I certainly didn’t want to email or read blogs. I spent as much time with Duc—we needed it. It’s been a rough 3 weeks and it is only going to get a bit tougher before it gets better. I read up on gardening and living a simpler, more organic lifestyle. I slowed down, soaked it all in, made bread and tried to enjoy as much time as I could with a sick and clingy toddler.IMG_5016 copy

I remind myself that we all have choices. There is always an A and a B. I can choose to feel like a victim or I can take charge of my situation. So I adjusted my attitude and reminded myself that I will do anything and everything I have to for my family.

Duc’s birthday is a week from today. My little man is going to be 2. I’m happy for him, but his birthday always brings a bit of sadness to my life. I can’t love him and celebrate him without remembering how we became a family. I know there is a woman out there that rubbed her belly and probably named him long before he was born. I don’t recall if I have shared it here or not, but the reason I named him Duc was because I imagined it might be a name his first mother might have chosen for him.

I’m also sad because I will miss my son’s birthday. My work schedule is going to get nasty for the next few weeks, but the ugliest day will be his birthday. My parents are going to be taking care of him while I am away.

So, while I have plenty of things I want to write about in the coming weeks, they will likely have to wait until June.

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Oh, and if any of you have suggestions on an affordable vacation I’m all ears:D


Michele May 13, 2010 at 7:57 AM  

I'm sorry things have been so rough and they will continue to be so for the coming weeks. Big hugs.

Kris May 13, 2010 at 10:55 AM  

i'm sorry you've been going through so much- i miss you tons and wish i could be there for you.

his mom probably didn't name him until he was born. in VN, they don't name their children until they see them :) (i have some pregnant VN friends right now). i found this out because last week she told me she was having a boy and i said, "so have you thought of a name for him?" and she very adamantly, in her broken english, said, "no! no! no name until born! my culture we wait".

your photos are lovely as always. hope to hear from you sometime... email, something. it's been too long.

dreamer May 13, 2010 at 6:36 PM  

I really enjoy the way you write and your post on perspectives is dead on. Some day I'll tell you a story about perspectives that had a permanent impact on me, for the better.

Take care. (and yes I do have an idea for a cheap vacation)

Special K May 16, 2010 at 9:35 AM  

I have some crank the ice cream bucket memories, too. In the middle of the dysfunction I grew up with...those good times still put a smile on my face.

I would imagine being a single mom is the hardest during these times of heavy workloads and long days. The prospect of those times scare me a little. If only we could just be SAHM's, right? :( Hang in there.

Laura June 4, 2010 at 1:38 AM  

Your take on right on.

I'm sorry things are rough right now. I'm so behind on everything b/c of the past six weeks, but I'm catching up. If you need anything, please let me know.

Cheap vacations? Hello! Right here! Free lodging (you and Duc would even have your own room, he he heh), beach right down the street, great views, awesome weather, tons of stuff to do (Sea World, Zoo, etc.). Just sayin' You're always welcome!


About This Blog

This started as my story, but has evolved to OUR story. This is the story of life as a single parent to a wonderful little boy while we wait for baby sister. China LID 2.12.07.

But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day.
Habakkuk 2:3

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