Friday, May 13, 2011

11:33 PM


{11:33 pm—an untouched photo}

In motherhood I have struggled to find myself in it at times. Not that I lost myself, exactly, I am the same stubborn, life-loving, first-to-laugh, homebody that I ever was. In some ways these traits are even large—I laugh longer and deeper, I argue passionate and I look for a laugh where ever I can find it. I long to stay in my jammies all day one day a week and not leave the house. These things haven’t changed.

But I lost my time and I miss that the most at times. I’ve always felt fulfilled alone. I’m recharged in my solitude and quiet time. I love having a few hours to get lost in my own head and dream. I love to dream.

Now that Duc is older he doesn’t need to sleep as much and my time is being encroached upon. Someday I will wake up and he won’t be there and I will long to hear his voice calling my name in the night, telling me stories and singing me songs at 3:14 AM. I won’t hear his bounding feet echo through the house. I know I will miss it.

But for now I miss my time. I steal it where I can and like every mother I have learned to juggle a number of tasks at once. Now, I find my time in a mindless sink of soapy dishes, jamming to Kings of Leon on the iPod and thinking slightly dirty thoughts. Yes, this is my time.


kitchu May 14, 2011 at 3:43 PM  

i don't know why this post left me smiling. i guess only because i relate to it on so many levels... :)

Kelli May 14, 2011 at 11:06 PM  

Oh how I can relate!

Susan May 15, 2011 at 10:51 AM  

I feel so much like this that it's a little scary. I wouldn't trade Petunia for anything in the world, but I do miss my quiet time. Oh, how I miss it.

Michele May 17, 2011 at 6:26 AM  

I so hear your too. And I know for me if I don't get some me time eventually, I become one cranky momma. I hope you can find some me time too.

Sharon October 7, 2011 at 10:46 AM  

I'm not sure when I came across your blog, but when I did, I bookmarked it. I only wish I remembered it! I see you haven't posted in months, but I went back and read some of your previous posts. Wow. I find myself wishing for more. Duc is so handsome. My Linhsey is from Vietnam, and I have a daughter from China also.


About This Blog

This started as my story, but has evolved to OUR story. This is the story of life as a single parent to a wonderful little boy while we wait for baby sister. China LID 2.12.07.

But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day.
Habakkuk 2:3

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