Lessons in Faith

I think there are many in the adoption world who lean on their faith throughout the process.  I'm one of those people.  I'm as guilty as the next looking to the skies for some sort of sign.  A sign to stay in, a sign to pull out--a sign.  The VN process looks like a scary one to me.  I had read that before I even committed my signature to the paper, but I am sooo not used to being outside my comfort zone.  With my China baby, I know that at the end of the wait, there she is.  I think my journey to Haven will be one that really tests my faith. 

The last two sermons at church dealt with stretching beyond our comfort zone and letting God lead, even if it sounds crazy.  I think that was what I needed to hear.  There is a part of me that really doesn't want to get too excited about all this yet and I keep trying to convince myself that it is all in my head, but it isn't in my head. I feel like Haven has tucked himself into my heart and I can't separate myself from him without breaking my heart.  I guess you really can't experience great love without the threat of great loss.  Love is always a gamble and none of us know where the path will lead us.  How many of us would willingly jump into a relationship (romantic or otherwise) if we knew that in the end it would never survive?  Chances are none of us would, but how much would we have missed out by never experiencing it?