Sunday, July 5, 2009

Choices

021_edited-1 The pictures says it all, does it not?



Every day we have choices. Should I wear the red shirt or the blue? Should I have that second bowl of ice cream or eat an apple? Just I start/add to my family?



Every day we are faced with choices, some pretty minor but some are life changing. As a child I second guessed every thing I did. I would analyze every little action and in my mind I would replay every little conversation and worry whether I had inadvertently offended someone or embarrassed myself. I was wasting so much energy on inconsequential things. When I was 15 years old I spent a good part of that summer in Hong Kong living with a family, but essentially living on my own. I made all my own decisions and they were the right decisions. I made a conscious decision from then on not to look back and wonder. Not to feel guilty about this or that. No more self doubt. Becoming an RN and having people’s lives depending on me and my decisions certainly enforced my new convictions.



I’ve been very fortunate to not be plagued with many self doubts as an adult. I’ve been able to look at all my major and most of my minor decisions and appreciate that they were the best decisions for me or my family. That’s not to say that I didn’t struggle through some of them. Duc is a perfectly good example of this. I had MAJOR doubts the entire time. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t excited, but it was a huge decision and it no longer impacted just me.



There are, however, a couple of exceptions (aren’t there always?). I find myself on the cusp of making a couple of decisions in my life—some big that would greatly impact Duc and me and others that pertain more to matters of the heart and where my life passions lie. Fortunately there is no rush on any of these decisions and I can take the better part of this year and even next to decide what I want to do. In some ways that is good, but it also allows me way too much time ruminate my decision. You can bet I will let you know.



I appreciate the support for the photography—both on here and private messages. It’s very scary, but Kris is right. I will never feel ready enough to do this. NEVER. But sometimes you need a push, and I just got a push in the form of an email. A friend of mine is also starting her own business—jewelry. Her stuff is awesome. Her sister is a graphic artist and edits photos and creates logos. She has worked with some really famous people and done some really well known stuff. And she volunteered an exchange of services—I’ll take photos of her daughter and she will give me a logo. Holy crap, I’m going to have my first job!



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And since we are talking about choices…why the heck are people so RUDE these days? Kelli and I took the boys to the children’s museum and I was kind of horrified by how rude people were. Any time you saw FAMILY RESTROOMS you could bet on seeing a line of single adult people—not families. Not a child anywhere in sight. Kelli and I were in line with CRANKY, TEETHING, POOPY babies and do you think any of them even attempted an apologetic smile as they stepped in and out of the family bathrooms? Not a chance. Lazy asses. It wasn’t just the bathrooms…there were a number of things that I thought were a little rude. Of course, I was pretty tired so I may have been unjustifiably irritated.005_edited-1 Do you recognize the dude in the back? Yep, it’s Darth Vader. Kelli and I were lining up with the photos for our photo with Darth when this happened008_edited-1Yep, tears. It totally freaked him out. Hopefully Kelli got some good photos!

7 comments:

Kelli July 5, 2009 at 11:21 PM  

I did get a few good pics. Sadly, the I think the teary pic I got of Duc is even sadder :(. Had a great time, even with all of the rudeness at the museum.

Kelli July 5, 2009 at 11:21 PM  

Oh, I forgot- I LOVE that first pic of the big D. And I can't wait for you to take pics of Aiden and me!

B July 6, 2009 at 2:43 PM  

Benjaminh wants to come and play with Aiden and Duc at the Children's Museum...he is teething and crying and poopy and he had 2 needles this morning so he is also irritable. Should fit right in. Oh, and his mommy has a big mouth and just "might" have made a loud comment about the rudeness of the people in front in line at the family bathroom. I once threatened to change a dirty diaper on the manager's desk in a government office with no bathroom and a 3 hour wait, got us moved up in line...

Oh, I will email soon in response to your comment...

MotherMotherOcean July 7, 2009 at 8:09 AM  

I am sick of the rude people. Makes me wish I owned a gun sometimes.

Michele July 8, 2009 at 6:41 AM  

That picture makes me want to give him a hug. Darth Vaer would upset me too if I were his age.

I agree with Nic. Could we at least use a water gun? I'm not into real violence.

Kris July 8, 2009 at 3:14 PM  

To answer your first question: DITCH THE APPLE. Go for the second bowl. Seconds are the BEST. And if you're anything like me, I always get the last bite blues on a good bowl of ice cream :)

As for the big decisions in life - hmm. It's amazing how you find you have these wings when you take these leaps of faith. And that, more often than not, you are never flying alone. Look at you, already you've found someone giving you a LOGO. Kudos to you. I've been paid often to do some work on the side, but man- finding the time and patience to set up a real business? I don't have the sense for it~! Drives my brother nuts because he thinks I should give up nursing all together- I think HE IS nuts :O)

Keep searching your heart and spreading those arms out- they will reach far and into places you never dreamed. Or, maybe you did dream... and now it's just all coming into clearer view :O)

Dave and Teresa July 10, 2009 at 4:22 PM  

Poor little guy.
Caroline would be scared of that big guy in black, too.

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About This Blog

This started as my story, but has evolved to OUR story. This is the story of life as a single parent to a wonderful little boy while we wait for baby sister. China LID 2.12.07.


But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day.
Habakkuk 2:3

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