The one after the last

Yeah, that’s just the way he rolls. He will have his feet against the table and lean forward to play with his car on the table. He’s far more flexible than me!

We had another great day today. The last couple of weeks have been rough—sometimes I think it is him. He’s stretching physically and he is also stretching to see how far he can take something. He’s been whiny which isn’t his normal self. Other times I think it is just me—I’m tired, he senses I’m tired and have less energy which means he works harder to keep all of my attention. This time I think it is actually related to two things—the holidays and all the crap he was eating. I know people say that sugar doesn’t have any impact on a child’s behavior, but I really think they are wrong. I’ve seen him wound up like top after eating a cookie and he is seriously whiny and cranky afterwards. I think he was also missing sleep due to the holiday excitement. And, honestly, I think he just missed me.

This weekend we’ve had some serious play time and as a result, snuggle time. It has been so awesome! I left briefly yesterday to make a run to the bank and the post office. I finally, with exactly 3 weeks remaining on my current 171-H, mailed off an updated home study and I-600A application. Initially I think I was subconsciously “forgetting” but as the weeks passed it became more of a conscious effort. I even set up reminders with my Outlook email account to force me along, but I just kept putting them off.

The last time I completed this I-600 I was still awaiting Duc’s referral. I was still keyed up and anxious to at least get one of my kids home. Now….I don’t know. I know I want a daughter. If you follow this blog at all you know I want a daughter. This all started with her and my family won’t feel complete without her. I suppose now that I have Duc, and as I have watched China’s referrals slow to a very slow crawl I’ve begun to lose hoping of ever seeing her face. The push to keep moving because there is a hope to a completion of the journey, well, it just isn’t there any more. I feel antsy and unsettled about this. I don’t feel I can give up. I’ve come to far and my heart just hasn’t given up yet. I’m already in line and I will never have the opportunity to adopt from China so I am sticking in it. Even though I am sticking to it it is a challenge to keep the faith and believe I will someday see her face.

And these are for my Dad. Duc loves Opa. Opa loves Duc. Duc watches and copies everything that Opa does. Not always such a good thing, especially when he is showing him his “see food” trick.

He is licking the yogurt off the foil lid of the yogurt cup. Something he learned from watching Opa., Happy, happy, happy boy.