Saturday, October 4, 2008

Thankful

I know I've been a bit irritable lately, but I have not been so far gone that I am not thankful for the people and things in my life.  Between the "waiting-for-a-referral" exhaustion prior to September 1st and all the on-call and over time at work I'd become rather out of sorts.  Definitely not feeling like me.  The past couple of days have been better and I am struck by the beauty of small things.  And little events.  And people's un-ending generosity in times of need--whether physical or emotional support.  Today I was driving down the road with my windows and sunroof open feeling the warmish cool breeze on my skin and I realized it has been ages since I have felt this way.  Free again.  And I know I am in the midst of transition and it doesn't scare me or worry me like it normally would.  Instead, I was able to enjoy the moment and appreciate that although this moment won't last long, neither will the difficult ones.  While I am often anxious to move forward with the next big thing in life, I have become so aware of late that I need to appreciate this moment.  Now.  Life changes and sometimes these changes are desired and sometimes they aren't.  Even when it is something that I want, there are often ripple effects throughout other parts of my life.  That being said, here are the highlights of what I am appreciating right now:

  • It is fall, glorious fall!  I love the way the temperature changes.  I might be freezing as I go to work in the morning, but as the sun begins to spread across the horizon it warms the earth and everything on it.  Glorious!
  • The feeling of motion.  There have been times when I have been so out of tune with my body that my limbs didn't seem to work together.  As I was walking the gym track this week I reveled in the fact my body is moving together and going faster than I have in years.  Just the feeling of my heels hitting the pavement brought such joy to me, especially as I remembered times when I couldn't find this place.
  • Health.  Over the past couple of weeks a number of my co-workers have been out of work for the week due to strep infections or kidney stones or kidney infections.  While I struggle with allergy related issues, it is exceedingly rare for me to be sick enough to take a day off, let alone a week.  I am thankful everyday that I wake up and am able to draw a full breath. 
  • Family.  I've alluded to some family rifts that have been a major stressor for me over the last few months.  It has been exceptionally painful to have to go down that too familiar road again.  I think some of that is resolving and I am so grateful.
  • My friends.  While I may appear to be overly open on here, there is a lot that I don't share.  It has always been difficult for me to be completely open and raw which is why I tend to only place my heart in the hands of a few.  These two have seen me at my best and my worst.  They have celebrated with me during the good and hugged me listened during the ugly.  My life would not be nearly as rich without them in it.
  • The supportive community of bloggers that I have gotten to know over the last year or two.  Your advice and your support has been very needed and appreciated.  Thank you.
  • The beauty of an early morning sunrise or late sunset.  Sometimes the beauty catches me off guard as I am not expecting to see the dazzle of God's paint brush.  Most times I am glad for that interruption because it seems to stop whatever else was mulling through my brain.  Each time I see a breath taking sunset I am reminded that life is more than what I see, what I feel, what I hear, or what I smell. 
  • Thinking of my children, wherever they may be.  Every time I see a full moon I wonder about them and their birth families.  I wonder if they will be seeing the same full moon that I see and if it fills them with the same sense of wonderment.
  • Gifts--the kinds that don't come in boxes.  After a very difficult year it was especially sweet to receive two gifts close to each other.  Sometimes they come along just when you need them.
  • The small moments.  As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I had one of those moments while riding down the road today.  It was just too perfect--good breeze, sun, windows down, good song on the radio and no traffic.  Even though I am not an outdoorsy kind of girl, it seems that it is when I am outdoors that I find those little moments of absolute joy. 

Have a joyous weekend!Scottish Highlands

2 comments:

Cinnamon October 4, 2008 at 8:40 PM  

So true. Isn't it great when we do enjoy such blessings.

Angie October 6, 2008 at 8:42 PM  

I am with you! I think that joy in the journey is really the lesson God has been trying to teach me...not patience or waiting like I thought...but to be joyful and enjoy the way! I think I am getting there! Glad you have had good moments!

Thinking 'bout you lots!
Ang

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This started as my story, but has evolved to OUR story. This is the story of life as a single parent to a wonderful little boy while we wait for baby sister. China LID 2.12.07.


But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day.
Habakkuk 2:3

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