Monday, November 19, 2007

I guess this is a multi-post day

Do you ever have the realization that a relationship (or in this case relationships) that you have supported over the years are no longer healthy or equally beneficial?  I've come to that conclusion lately.  The one I am going to have to let go because she only wants to spend time with me when she is depressed and upset with her boyfriend or when she is without a boyfriend.  Somehow she expects me to fill some void in her life that I don't want or need to fill.  I've been sucked down that road before and I am the one broken hearted at the end.  I'm tired of female friends bleeding me emotionally dry and then leaving me in the dust when a new guy comes around.

The other is an older, single woman that I have been friends with (I actually met both these women at the same time) and we have some really good conversations, but she manages to find something about me to pick at.  Today she was criticizing my new e-mail account name.  Evidently the ambiguity of the meaning left her to think it was something sexual perhaps?  It's actually a combination of both my children's names and I can guarantee you that there is nothing sexual about it.  My daughter has inherited a family name that has been passed down for many generations.  It is always something.  She criticizes what I talk about, how loud my voice or laughter is, and even my personal beliefs.  What the heck? 

I guess the question is, do I actually discuss this with either of them.  Well, that probably isn't necessary for the first one since she only comes running when she is lonely or upset.  The other...I don't know.  She's a smart cookie and she will begin to suspect.  I guess I should just tell her that I can't be friends with someone that is so hypercritical of me.  From my perspective, why would she want to be friends with someone she is constantly having to correct?  There is a mean part of my brain that says "no wonder she is still single", but if I am going to say that I really need to hold that same mirror up to myself. 

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This started as my story, but has evolved to OUR story. This is the story of life as a single parent to a wonderful little boy while we wait for baby sister. China LID 2.12.07.


But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day.
Habakkuk 2:3

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