Friday, November 16, 2007

Standing Still...

Things are pretty much at a stand still right now.  I called my doctor this morning.  Not in.  I asked to speak to her scheduler.  Also not in.  They wouldn't reschedule me with someone else until talking to the doctor on Monday.  OOOKKKKAAAAYYY.  I guess I'll be calling again Monday.  I guess it doesn't really matter since I haven't heard from the agency yet.  I did finally receive my new packet from my SW.  I suppose I will be filling that out this weekend.  I can never tell how much faith to put into what I read on-line. 

I think I need to stay away from the yahoo VN sites.  In many ways they remind me the China sites, specifically RQ and I end up feeling anxious.  I sometimes wonder if it is the prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) that create a sense of urgency for the US and VN that wouldn't normally exist. I don't know.  I'm too new to everything to be able to say definitely one way or another.  It certainly is true of the China program.  If I had followed what the China sites had said prior to working on my China dossier, I never would have applied!  I guess this is what faith is all about. 

Strangely enough, my eating habits and exercise routine has improved since starting this process again.  I am, and will probably always be, a stress eater.  It got worse this summer after I lost my job and even after I started my new job, I was still night binging due to stress/anxiety.  Yeah, I know, a Xanax would do me a world of good, but I really prefer to try to deal with my feelings instead of medicating them.  I think a big part of my anxiety was in indecision over the VN situation.  In some way, it was always in the back of my mind and I couldn't quite escape the son that I knew was out there.  Anyway, I've been going to the gym regularly, and are you ready for this, I had a salad and vegetable soup for lunch.  The lunch ladies never ask me what I want anymore, they automatically grab the chicken strips and mashed potatoes for me.  In fact, I went through a self-serve salad line today and one of the lunch ladies asked "no chicken today?"  Nope!  I eat so healthy at home (yeah, I know, I binge on things like yogurt and pineapple) and it is time to do that at work.  Besides it just weighs me down and makes me feel sleepy all afternoon.  I keep this image of my children in mind and I want to be healthy for them.  I need to be healthy for them.  I don't want to be the fat, out of breath American in VN or China



About This Blog

This started as my story, but has evolved to OUR story. This is the story of life as a single parent to a wonderful little boy while we wait for baby sister. China LID 2.12.07.

But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day.
Habakkuk 2:3

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