A conversation with my mother

I have mentioned here before that I plan on getting a tattoo to celebrate my son.  I did the same for my daughter and after a lot of thought I came up with something that represents Vietnam and what would blend nicely with the tattoo I already have. 

For whatever reason, I always feel closer to my grandma when going through the adoption process.  I think it is something that she would have approved and supported and I think of all the sacrifices she made for her own children.  When I think of my grandmother I remember the costume jewelry that she had in her jewelry box.  As a kid, that was the first place I went to play.  The pieces I remember most are her dragonfly pins.  I'm sure they were quite tacky, but I would have loved to have inherited them when she died.  Unfortunately, I think my aunts pitched anything without monetary value.  Kris and I have mentioned getting tattoos together and I think I found a dragonfly that best represents her. 

So I had a fact-finding coversation with my mother that sounded something like this:

Me:  What was grandma's favorite color?

Mom: Red.  But women of that time weren't supposed to wear red.  When she was older she started wearing red.  Why do you ask?

Me:  Well, I was thinking of getting a little dragonfly tattoo in memory of her.  When I think of her that is what I always remember most.

Mom:  What kind of tattoo are you going to get for me?  What represents me?

 

Ok, not exactly the response I was expecting.  I thought she would try to talk me out of it, but instead she wanted to know what most represents her.  That is a hard question to answer.  I only had my grandma, her mother, for a few years before Alzheimer's robbed her of her memories.  I've had my mother for my lifetime and there are so many memories.  I'm not sure that any one thing makes me think of my mother.  I remember the smell of her favorite perfume, I think of her strength in the face of adversity, and I think of her un-ending support.  She has supported me and every "wacky" idea I have had.  I guess in that sense, she made the stars in the sky seem attainable and not so far away.  Perhaps this is her legacy.