Friday, February 29, 2008

Meant to be?

Have you ever had that sense that things are meant to be?  You know what I am talking about...getting stuck behind a slowish vehicle and getting ready to pass only to learn that a cop is coming your direction.  Losing your job to find one that you enjoy just as much or more.  Both of these things have happened to me and I can remember feeling quite irritated being stuck behind that truck when what I really wanted to do was drive fast and get where I was going.  Losing my job last summer was a traumatic experience, but the truth was, I was ready for a change.  While this job does not pay as well, it has other perks. 

Yesterday when I learned that CIS would be delayed and I wouldn't receive my 171H for nearly 2 weeks, I didn't even flinch.  I had this deep sense that this is the way it was supposed to be.  I hear families talking about how the child they received was truly meant to be a part of their family.  On some level I have always thought that was a bunch of horse crap, but on another level, I wondered if there was some validity to the statement.  For whatever reason, I have not felt the overwhelming sense of anxiety, fearfulness and excitement that I had when I first began this process.  A lot has to do with what happened in January.  There was a real sense of healing and peace that followed in the week or so after that heartbreak that has carried me through learning I had another two week wait. 

My agency director emailed today to check on the status of my other paperwork and said he really wanted to make sure things were done correctly so I wouldn't have any further delays.  He said the wait list was moving quickly and he wanted to get me on it before others sign in.  He isn't kidding, they had a boatload of referrals last week (ok, to clarify a boatload of referrals doesn't really have to be many for a woman who has sat in a line that was barely budged for the past 12+ months).  After all the pain and heartache through the month of January, this is music to my ears.  My mother, my faithful rock, has said repeatedly even when I tried to correct her that I would have Haven this year.  Maybe she knows something I don't. 

2 comments:

Heather & David February 29, 2008 at 7:20 AM  

The wait is excruciating. but don't you just love moms... I don't know if I could get through the high anxiety times without mine. They have amazing clarity.... will we get that too???

mindfulmusings March 5, 2008 at 1:59 AM  

Sorry to be so behind...but you know why. Anyway, just having met our son, I think I can totally agree with your statement that you end up with the child you are meant to end up with. I know it seems so cliche and there are many "bad" things that get glossed over when you say it, but I feel that is what has happened with our little man. He is perfect for us. There are so many things about him that seem to jive totally with my husband and myself that I can't believe it. Keep the faith, girl. ;)

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About This Blog

This started as my story, but has evolved to OUR story. This is the story of life as a single parent to a wonderful little boy while we wait for baby sister. China LID 2.12.07.


But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day.
Habakkuk 2:3

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