Friday, March 14, 2008

A dad issue?

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...no more obsessing!

I love the Austin Powers 3 movie.  I can't say much about the other two because they really didn't do much for me, but I can quote whole sections of #3 (I agree, Preparation H is good on the whole/hole)...don't get me started.  Anyway, there is this entire scene devoted to Austin's dad issues and if you remember (or if you don't, just watch the video below) it was the theme throughout the entire movie.   

And today while I was reading some movie reviews in my local paper, I came across a review that said something to the effect that the two main characters had serious "searching for a Father Figure" issues.  Which brings me to this question--how does a child develop such issues?  Are these children (in both these cases, boys) born into it or is it something that develops?  Is it because they had deadbeat dads that forgot to pay child support or pick them up on Friday nights?  Were they abused by their fathers or were their fathers abusive towards their mothers?  Or were they products of unmarried mothers? 

As a single woman I did not enter into adoption lightly.  It was something that I wrestled with, but I felt that God was calling me to do.  To say it is has tested my faith, well, as you have seen by my rambling obsessing posts it has been a stretch.  But I knew then what I still know now--that I was meant to do this.  Regardless of what my future holds, these children were meant to be a part of it.  But where does that leave them?  Will they be angry that they were not adopted by a married couple?  Will they regret not having a father? 

Most research about fatherless children does not take into affect other things, in fact, most of their focus is on poor, under-educated women who are generally down on their luck when they become pregnant.  Yes, it is true, that these children do not fare as well as children from two parent households where the financial situation isn't as dire.  People try to blame our social ills on dead beat fathers, but the truth of the matter is that roughly 50% of children live in a single parent household.  Have all these kids become deviants?  I don't think so, but it is still a concern of mine and how I can create an environment in my home where my children will benefit from positive role models.  My children will be around my father, brother-in-law, close male friends, men from church and if I think my children are still lacking, I will look at other things that I can do. Of course, I'm always open to ideas from others.

And to end my deep thought for the day, here's more Austin Powers!

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This started as my story, but has evolved to OUR story. This is the story of life as a single parent to a wonderful little boy while we wait for baby sister. China LID 2.12.07.


But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day.
Habakkuk 2:3

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