Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Thank you

I want to say a heartfelt thank you to all those who commented on my last post.  Several of you were new (welcome!) and in a similar boat or were simply sympathetic to the familiar pains of uncertainty that are attached to any adoption or pregnancy.   We are all in the same boat and as such, we need to support each other instead of scaring each other or trying to out-do each other with the newest and greatest (read: worst) rumor.  Several of you have mentioned things that you are doing to reduce your anxieties.  Trust me, they do work!  I had to do the same in January when the whole China process became too overwhelming (well, China slowdown + VN meltdown=heartbreak).  Here are some ideas:

  • Stay off the Yahoo groups!  I don't care if they are the "good" ones.  Everyone is as worried as you are and they are going to throw out an idea or suggestion and the next thing you know, it's considered fact. The only yahoo group that you should be getting mail from is your agency.  No exceptions.
  • Limit your computer time.  I no longer check my email when I get up in the morning and I don't check it before going to bed.  If you are feeling overly stressed about things right now, TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER. 
  • Get out of the house.  Seriously, get out.
  • Volunteer.  Put your time where your heart is.  If you need to be reminded of how good your life truly is, work with those that are suffering.  Hospice, homeless shelters, animal shelters, etc.  The need is great at all these places and I promise you it will change your perspective.
  • Take a class--if you haven't taken an infant/child CPR class what is stopping you?  This is necessary information and is quite cheap or even free in some cases.  Just to put a little plug in, I am an instructor in the AHA Infant/child/adult CPR. 
  • Learn about your child's culture.  Read the books, especially those written by Vietnamese authors that express what life is truly like.  Find Vietnamese music CDs.  For me, music soothes my soul and knowing that some of these songs are likely being sung to my son, well, it brings tears to my eyes.  I'm planning on starting a Netflix account just so I can see some Vietnamese movies that I can't find locally.  Also, don't forget about the human element.  If you live in a town with a Vietnamese population, reach out. Get to know them and their culture.  It will an asset when your child is home.
  • This suggestion may work for some, but be painful for others so try to figure out which category you are before implementing.  Spend time with a child.  A close friend adopted a daughter from Guatemala.  A few weeks ago when I was feeling so low I spent time with them.  My friend even let me rock her and put her down to bed.  It's amazing how purifying it was for my soul.  It was also a reminder that my time will also come.   
  • As much as it pains me to write it, be selective about the blogs you follow.  I checked the blogs from those that commented and they are AWESOME.  I was so impressed by how many PAPs have individually decided that enough is enough--no more negativity.  It is hard to stay off the blogs because it is reassuring to know that there are others out there like ourselves or have their children home (nothing better than a happy ending). I have decided to begin highlighting a blog each week that is "blogger safe" and not likely to scare or induce tears. 

The first blog I want to highlight is from Kate.  I love that she is keeping the faith even when things are difficult.  She has awesome photos (although I'm a little afraid to ask about the peanut butter nose photos) and she sets goals!  I love goal setters. 

If you want to suggest a blog or want me to consider your blog for next week, drop me a line.  I'd love to learn all about your journey! 

5 comments:

Meredith March 4, 2008 at 11:52 PM  

Love this! I agree whole-heartedly. There is absolutely nothing to be accomplished with worrying at this point! I'll join your movement! :)

Chandra March 5, 2008 at 8:16 AM  

Those are great suggestions! I too am sick and tired of the pessimistic doomsday posts on some blogs. Especially when it is NEVER based on fact, just speculation. Sure there are a million things that COULD go wrong, but it could also go right. Thanks for the positive post.

Kate March 5, 2008 at 9:58 AM  

Erica,
I'm completely flattered that you highlighted my blog! Thanks so much! I am on the quest to finding supportive, postive blogs as well...great idea! Oh..and the peanut butter. Let me explain! Being home with three boys on a snow day--cabin fever set in and we had a little fun with puppy! =)

I love your suggestions, too. I really need to stay away, far, far away, from the yahoo groups for a while. To many rumors and what ifs. Just can't take it!

Again, THANK YOU. You're support means so much. I've added your blog to mine. Stop by anytime!
=)

Kelli March 5, 2008 at 1:34 PM  

Oh, you mean I shouldn't be checking my personal email at work right now? Okay. I posted something similar about yahoo groups a few days ago- haven't been on them in 3 days!

Alana March 10, 2008 at 12:56 PM  

I wish I had the self control to stay off the groups. I DO stay off my "agency run" group, because I am the most hated and reviled person ever on that little patch of sunshine (because I dare to question the "company line"). But I cannot stop reading blogs and surfing for info about Vietnam. C'mon over to my blog and hang out, I say nothing important, and pretty much just make as ass of myself, come over and make fun of me, you'll feel better!

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About This Blog

This started as my story, but has evolved to OUR story. This is the story of life as a single parent to a wonderful little boy while we wait for baby sister. China LID 2.12.07.


But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day.
Habakkuk 2:3

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